All We Know is Falling
by Hatter of Madness
Summary: When Robbie doesn't go to school, Cat knows something is wrong. Little does she know that everything is about to dramatically take a turn for the worst. Rated T to be safe. AU, Cat OOC. Cabbie.
1. Before the Storm

**~*~All We Know Is Falling~*~  
>by Hatter of Madness<strong>

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><p>I walked through the halls of Hollywood Arts. For some reason, everybody seemed to be in little cliques, talking about something in hushed tones. At first, I wasn't fazed by it—nothing really did faze me anymore. I was walking down the halls, contemplating dying my hair a different color other than the usual red I kept going for, when I realized that the more people talked, the more they continued to shoot glances at me, and it was making me uncomfortable.<p>

I had matured, in more ways than one, since my enrollment at the school, so obviously I knew when something was wrong. And that day, something was horribly, horribly wrong.

As I continued to think about how blue hair would look on me (which came out to be a negative result, in my opinion), I could still feel stares at me and decided I was going to ask Robbie, my best friend, if he knew what was going on. But when I arrived at our usual meeting place, his locker, I realized he wasn't there. Nor was he at my locker, I realized as I continued wandering down the row of lockers. His puppet—excuse me, _dummy_—Rex was nowhere to be found, either. It was odd to me, not hearing Rex and Robbie's two distinct personalities and voices. _He must be sick, _I told myself, more as means of reassurance than anything.

The rest of the school seemed to notice Robbie's absence, too; his attendance record was almost perfect, other than the one time he swallowed a toy car and had to go to the hospital. But I was sure that he _had_ to be fine… Maybe I was just overreacting.

Their hushed whispers made me nervous as I sat down in Sikowitz's class. It made me wonder if I had missed an assignment—if we had a project due today or something. It wasn't extremely uncommon for me to miss information like that.

Tori sat next to me and talked in a soothing voice, almost sounding like she was trying hard not to say anything that might upset me. "Good morning, Cat."

"Good morning, Tori," I said back brightly. "Hey, do we have something due today? The way everyone's talking is making me nervous…"

"No," she said back, a bit too quickly. "Hey, do you know where Robbie is?"

"No," I said as well, looking around. "He won't answer his phone…" I had already sent him a number of texts, all of them basically with the same meaning: _Where are you?_ It wasn't like him to miss school or to ignore his phone. Maybe he was sick? I tried to reassure myself again. But then, wouldn't he have called to tell me? Or have Rex call at the very least? Or answered any of my texts?

"That's odd," Tori said, voicing out loud exactly what I had been thinking. It was definitely unlike Robbie to ignore a call or text, especially one from me.

Mr. Sikowitz went off on his lecture. After almost half an hour, I couldn't take it anymore and texted furiously: _HELLO? Where r u and why r u M.I.A.? Answer meeee_

"Cat, put the phone away," Sikowitz said, and I miserably shoved my phone in my pocket. I was itching to know what was wrong with Robbie.

It was the end of class and he _still _hadn't answered a single text. The bell rang to release us for lunch and I went to my locker to put my stuff away. I looked up and down the hall. Still no Robbie, still no Rex. They _had_ to be alright, didn't they? They wouldn't just have something major going on without telling me.

Again, I reassured myself in saying that Robbie was probably sick in bed. Maybe he was so sick that he didn't even have the energy to answer his phone…

I shoved my stuff in my locker, looking around for my wallet so I could buy something to eat at lunch. I knew fully well that I would be lucky if I actually ate anything, since I was getting so nervous and even a bit dizzy, but I knew I'd regret it later if I skipped lunch. I had already bypassed breakfast since I was running a bit late. I walked to the cafeteria, bought a salad, apple, and a bottle of mineral water, and went to the usual table where my friends I and I all sat.

The spot usually occupied by Robbie and Rex was vacant, chilling me right to the bones. Tori and Jade seemed to be in an argument, Beck and Andre were comparing thumb sizes (though I wasn't totally sure why), and Trina was fixing her makeup in a compact mirror, but all talking ceased when I walked up. Apparently, my best friend's absence had taken a toll on my mood, because all of my friends talked to me in soothing voices, yet again. It was as though somebody died. Jade broke the silence first.

"Still no news from dummy boy?" she asked.

"Jade!" Tori said, absolutely shocked.

I forced a smile. "No," I said, looking at my phone just to be sure. Nothing, not a single sign that he had seen that I had attempted to contact him at all. I sighed, shoving it back in my pocket. "It's starting to get a little…"

"Troublesome, disheartening, depressing, spooky?" Beck said. Tori punched him in the arm.

"Scary," I finished.

I picked at my salad as they continued to talk. They said they all wanted to see a new movie coming out that Friday and asked if I wanted to go, too. I mumbled something, but I honestly don't remember if I said 'yes' or 'no'.

There was a definite lull in the conversation after that, leaving me alone with my thoughts, which I really didn't like. I liked it better when there was _some _inkling of conversation, because then I could force my brain to focus on something other than Robbie for a little while. And I was definitely not up to par enough to come up with a topic of conversation on my own. No, it was best that I kept my mouth shut, it seemed. It was anyone's guess what would come out of my mouth, anyway.

Trying to brighten the mood, Andre said, "Hey, does anyone want to see me juggle?"

We all looked at him suspiciously. Tori, in the role of the peace maker, said, "You _can't_ juggle."

"Yes, I can!" Andre said.

"No, you can't," Trina said insensitively, finally looking up from her compact.

"In Sikowitz's class when you tried to juggle all of the balls suddenly became projectiles and Sikowitz had a black eye for a week," Jade reminded.

"I've practiced since then," he assured, picked up his orange, and said, "Beck, Cat, toss me your apples."

We both obliged, though I was not really in the mood to see Andre's talent, or lack thereof. But I was drawn in by how well he was doing; it was definitely an improvement since the incident that Jade had mentioned. We were definitely impressed, so much so that Andre started doing tricks, saying, "Say, Beck, do you really want this apple back?"

"Not really, why?" he asked, but instead of answering his question out loud, Andre caught my apple and his orange in one hand, Beck's apple in the other. He took a bite out of Beck's apple as means of finishing.

"Impressive," Tori said.

"Cat?" Andre asked; I forced a smile. "Alright, I need a new apple…"

We laughed—minus me and Jade, who forced a smile as well—as he filled the rest of us in on how he had learned this trade, then two new apples later, he was juggling again. I was still lost in my thoughts, terrified to the brim about Robbie. He had to be okay, I tried to reassure myself for the umpteenth time. He has to be…

But I wasn't an idiot. Robbie wouldn't just mess up his perfect attendance record unless something was really, _really _wrong. That thought sent chills down my spine. Just the thought of something being wrong with Robbie…

At that moment, my cell phone started vibrating. Not even thinking about who it could be, I fished it out of my pocket.

_Incoming call: Robbie._

I was confused, but felt much better. Finally, I would be getting an explanation. But why was he calling? He knew I was in school; why didn't he just text? Assuming that he must have known I was at lunch so that talking wasn't that much of a problem, I answered. "Robbie, about time. Why aren't you at school? Why wouldn't you answer me?"

"Cat?" a definitely female voice said.

I frowned. "What happened to your voice?"

I barely registered that all eyes were on me. "Cat, this is Siobhan, Robbie's mother?" I frowned, starting to get even more confused than I was moments ago. "I would have texted you since you were in school, but I thought this was something I should say over the phone instead. I thought he'd want you to know…"

"What are you talking about?" I said. Whatever it was, it didn't sound very good.

"Cat, Robbie's been in emergency surgery at Hollywood Presbyterian Hospital for a little over half an hour."

"Why?" was all I could manage to squeak out.

"There's something wrong with his lungs. It's all very complicated to explain. I'm not really sure how things are going to turn out, though." She sounded afraid. I would be, too, having to tell someone that my son is in emergency surgery.

I felt like I was going to faint, but I didn't. I could hardly comprehend the situation. He seemed so strong—indestructible, even. Robbie and hospitals just didn't seem to go together. Seeing that there were things that could tear him down seemed like a wakeup call to both me and Siobhan. It seemed long overdue, this news, and I wished that it could be overlooked. But it couldn't. Something was definitely, _definitely _wrong.

I stood up. The group gave me quizzical looks. Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I made an impromptu decision. I was sure one of them was asking me what was wrong, but I couldn't hear anything over the sound of my frantic heartbeat. I walked right up to the gates of the school, sliding them open and walking out. Surprisingly, no teachers or staff members tried to tell me to come back, and no one in my group of friends or any other students had started after me, trying to see where I was going and what was wrong. But to be honest, I didn't really know what was wrong myself, and that was enough to terrify me. My phone still pressed to my ear, I said four words that shocked even me when they left my mouth:

"I'm on my way."

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><p><strong>Hello all. This is my very first <em>Victorious <em>fic, I only just recently became a fan of the show. Sorry if facts are a bit off, I've only seen a few episodes so I'm just getting into the gist of things, but this is supposed to be AU anyway. Reviews are appreciated. I know Cat is OOC in this, but I honestly thought this idea would never work if she was as ditsy as she is in the show. I have some plans for this story already, but I only really know what to post if you tell me in reviews that you like this idea or not. I wrote this last night when I was half asleep and sick, so sorry if some parts don't make any sense or are grammatically/factually incorrect. So um. Yeah.**

**- Hatter of Madness**


	2. Bikeway to Hell

As soon as the gate clanged shut behind me, I took off at a run to the bike racks. I was not going to waste any time. Frantically, I put in my combination, whipped the chain off, and was off—never mind wearing a helmet. This seemed to be serious, serious stuff that was going on. I wasn't going to waste my time trying to shove the helmet on my head.

I took off, wondering if I was going in the right direction to Hollywood Presbyterian. I had never been there before, and I wondered why Robbie was at _that _hospital rather than the one he had been to with his previous medical procedure. That was the least of my problems, though; the biggest one was finding the place he was at and getting to the bottom of what was happening. It was getting unnerving for me; I was terrified out of my right mind.

I couldn't find a bike path, so I just continued on the sidewalk, sometimes alternating to the street depending on the congestion of traffic on the walkway. Soon my legs were on fire, but I didn't stop, not for water or to catch my breath and rest. I needed to get there quickly—as quickly as possible, before it was too late.

My lungs, too, were on fire, as I was probably riding my bike way too fast. I almost ran into a lady, but instead, taking too sharp a turn to make sure I didn't hit her, I collided with the ground. The lady I narrowly avoided a collision with walked away scowling without a single word in my direction. "Watch where you're going!" I snapped at her. "Stupid head!"

_Gee, thanks for making sure I was okay,_ I thought, picking myself up off the ground and wishing I had second guessed my helmet decision. My hands were red and bleeding, my shins and knees scratched up from being exposed, due to my short shorts. I stood up, my ankle throbbing from where my bike fell on it. I cursed at myself for being so stupid.

The paint on my bike was a bit scratched, but I honestly couldn't care less. I got on again, pedaling a bit slower, but not too slow; my mind was working so fast that it was hard not to go fast. The wind stung my eyes, but I forced myself to continue.

Out of the distance, I could see the building, otherwise known as Hollywood Presbyterian Hospital, looming on the horizon. I leaned forward, trying to go faster but at the same time, trying to avoid another incident like the one I had just had. I was getting nervous, slightly dizzy again, and horribly worried. _Please let Robbie be okay, _I thought, not sure what good it would due at the point. _Just please, God, let him be okay…_

I almost literally dropped my bike at the bike rack and ran inside, looking around. It seemed normal enough, but I got several odd glances as I ran in; my knees, shins, and hands spoke for themselves, not to mention my erratic breathing, frantic look, and windswept hair—although 'windswept' is a bit of an understatement. It was almost as though I had rode my bike through a tornado, what with the hairstyle I was sporting.

I walked—more like ran—up to the information desk and sputtered out, "Robbie—Shapiro—is—he—here—"

"Cat, is that you?" a voice behind me said. I whipped around. There was Siobhan, Robbie's mom, along with his little sister, Allison, and his grandmother, Sylvia. No surprise to me, his dad was nowhere to be found. Ms. Shapiro attempted to smile as she came up to me. "My, how you've changed since the last time I saw you."

A blush rose to my cheeks furiously. "Good to see you, Ms. Shapiro," I said, though it wasn't really a good occasion at all. After all, Robbie was either in emergency surgery or just coming out of it. I was sure that this was not much of a joyous occasion for her, either.

Her smile faltered a bit, to no surprise. "Cat, please. Call me Siobhan. Oh…honey, have a seat, you're all red," she said, putting her hands on my shoulders and leading me—well, she led; I limped—to an empty seat besides Sylvia. Even she didn't have a negative word for me, which was uncommon for her. It seemed that the situation at hand had definitely taken a toll on the family.

As I sat, her eyes fell on my legs and she gave me a worried look, in a very motherly way. "Cat, honey, what happened to your legs? Did you fall down?"

I looked down at myself for the first time. I was a wreck, I was sure of it, what with my hair and blush…now, I saw for the first time the state of my legs, which were scratched up and were a violent red, similar to my hair. The red mixed with brown, which I assumed was dirt, and there was blood running down from my left knee. I bit my lip apprehensively. "Let's just say I had a little run-in on my way over here…Siobhan." I had to force myself to say the name; it seemed too friendly for the occasion.

"I'll say," she said, then her eyes fell even lower, on my bum ankle. The pain finally registered as I realized that it was swollen and had a bruise forming already. "Weren't you limping a moment ago?"

I tossed my hand and tried to roll my eyes, but ended up blinking, and I wasn't sure why. "It's not a big deal, really. I just fell on my way over here."

"That looks bad," she said, then turned to the nurse at the reception desk. "Can we get a wheelchair over here for this girl? And maybe some ice?" The nurse nodded and I blushed an even deeper shade of red.

"Really, Ms. Sha—Siobhan—it's not a big deal…" I tried to say, but it felt as though my ankle was throbbing, and she shot me a look that clearly said she was right and that I had better shut my big mouth before anything major happened. A few minutes later a younger nurse came with a blue wheelchair, an icepack in one hand. One footrest on the chair was slightly propped up, with I assumed was for my bad ankle. I carefully transferred myself from the plastic hospital chair to the wheelchair, using my hands to prop myself up. This was a bad idea; putting weight on them immediately caused a fiery sensation that was even harder to ignore than the pain in my legs.

Once the nurse left and Robbie's family got me situated, I realized that his mother had been more focused on me than him. "How is he?" I finally asked.

The look of concern on her face worsened, if that was possible. "Well, I suppose now I'd better tell you what's going on," she said, starting to pace. Allison looked away, as though looking at the sign that read "_Yo hablo español_" next to the reception desk would take her mind off of the situation at hand with her brother. I didn't blame her; the waiting was killing me, and I didn't even really know what was happening with Robbie.

"Last night Robbie told me that he had a pain in his chest. I brushed it off at the time, saying it was probably that time of year—allergies, you know. And this morning he seemed a little off, but he was getting ready for school like nothing was wrong when suddenly…" Her voice trailed off. She took a moment to recollect herself, then she said, "_Bang!_ I heard this big crash upstairs and of course, I immediately went to see what was wrong. He was on the floor, barely conscious. He didn't even have a shirt on, it was so early in the morning. Rex was on the floor, too, like something bad was happening. And Robbie was clutching his chest, moaning and shrieking in pain. I started screaming, asking him what was happening. He could hardly talk, but he managed to whimper that he couldn't breathe, so I screamed at Allison to call an ambulance. By the time they showed up, he was completely out of it. They had to give him an electric shock to wake him up. Once we got here, they did a quick X-ray that showed that his left lung collapsed. A little while before you got here, one of the doctors in his procedure came out and told us that he also had a pulmonary embolism, a blood clot in the major arteries of his lung. Usually, they just let those embolisms heal on their own, but given the circumstances, they chose to remove it while they were fixing his lung."

All of this information seemed to go right over my head. Siobhan's voice was shaky by the time she finished explaining. I wanted to just give her a hug and tell her everything would be okay, but neither one of us knew that for sure.

I just hung my head, looking at the wheelchair I had recently acquired. It seemed either brand new or just very gently used, although I supposed that in a hospital, all equipment would be that way. Especially surgical supplies…

_No,_ I commanded. _Don't think that way. He'll be okay. I know it. The doctors are going to make sure that he's okay. He'll be okay…_

I was taking deep, laborious breaths. "You okay, Cat?" Allison said, finally speaking. I looked at her in surprise and gave a feeble shake of my head. Perhaps, in time, I'd be physically okay. The injury on my ankle was awful; the second the ice pack touched it I had flinched in pain, just from the discomfort of something touching the wound, not the cold—which had honestly felt very, very good. But mentally… Only time would tell how I'd be mentally.

"I got you," she said as I wordlessly gave the reply, looking as nervous as I felt. "I like your nails," she said shyly. They were painted with alternating colors—one finger blue, the next red, and so on in that pattern. I smiled at her and mouthed the word thanks, as for some reason, speech would not come and the word got lost on the way to my mouth.

The four of us sat in silence for a minute. Sylvia took a newspaper out of her purse and started to do the crossword. At first, I couldn't see how she focused on it, but after a while I wondered if it was to get her mind off of things. I wished I had something with which I could do the same.

Finally, Siobhan broke the silence. "Al, do you want to take Cat to the bathroom so she can clean herself up?" I noticed that she was looking at the abrasions on my legs.

"I can do it on my own," I said, suddenly finding my voice. It wasn't so much that I didn't want Allison to come, as we both got along very well and she was a great conversation starter. It was that I knew I was about ready to break down, and I didn't want anyone to see me like that…plus, I wanted to be alone so that I could collect my thoughts. This was not possible if I had anyone with me. I put my hands on the wheels of the chair, trying hard to hide the wince of pain that I could feel coming on. My hands were still both exposed and scratched up.

"You sure?" Siobhan asked, seeing the look on my face.

I nodded, going down the hallway to the bathroom. Getting control of the wheelchair I was in proved to be difficult, added onto the cuts on my hands. I managed to push the door open to the bathroom without issue. I looked around while getting a paper towel and dabbing at my legs, the water burning the torn skin on impact. It was a single person room, with a bar on the wall for people who I assumed were other people in wheelchairs—probably people that actually were paralyzed or had broken bones, not girls who freaked out, riding their bike to get to the hospital to see their best friend.

The thought made me tense up. I wanted to see Robbie, and soon. I was getting more and more nervous with each passing second; each _tick _of the clock seemed to go by like centuries. A part of me wondered what the procedure entailed—how _did _you fix a collapsed lung or an embolism, anyway?—but in another recess of my mind, the thought disgusted me and made my nervousness come even more alive, if it were possible for it to do so.

And before I knew it, I was shaking all over, painfully bringing my knees to my chest and convulsing, one eye on the clock. It was mindless, endless waiting… The seconds ticked past even slower…

I splashed some cold water on my face before leaving. I had had enough time in here. Again, I barely managed to push the heavy door open and rejoined Siobhan, Allison, and Sylvia. For a brief minute, I wondered whether Robbie's dad, Aaron, even knew what was going on. Robbie and his family had a strained relationship. For a long time, he had had to take care of both himself and Allison. She was the one who had gotten him Rex after noticing that he had been watching a lot of comedians with ventriloquism. I remember her telling me that once when I had gone to Robbie's house to work on a scene for an upcoming assignment. Robbie had excused himself to go get Rex and Allison, who is a lot like her brother in that she's shy, had finally piped up and said it had taken most of her birthday and Christmas money to buy, but that she had wanted to repay her brother for taking care of her. I, too, thought it was a nice gesture.

Sylvia was getting help from Allison on her crossword and Siobhan finally let herself be seated, skimming through a magazine. My phone started vibrating in my pocket. I realized that I had missed eleven text messages and they were all basically the same thing: Where are you, why did you leave, any news from Robbie.

I didn't know what to do to keep me occupied, so I reached into my backpack which I had slung over the handles of the wheelchair once it was brought over. I searched for a little while before producing my notebook. I had been working on a song during homeroom and had wanted to show it to Robbie…but he hadn't shown up at school.

Chewing on the end of my pencil, the time seemed to go much faster, but it still wasn't good enough. There was nothing new when it came to information. All I could do was sit there and wait patiently, staring at the page. No ideas would come. Finally, I couldn't even get myself to concentrate on the song and stuffed my notebook back in my bag. I pulled my not-bum leg close to me and started inspecting a scab, just to try to mask what I was feeling inside. I didn't want Siobhan or Sylvia or poor Allison to see how I was feeling. There was no need to worry them, since they had always thought that little worried me.

Finally, a door underneath a sign that read 'Emergency Room' opened, and out stepped a young looking doctor in white scrubs. He saw Siobhan and his face lit up as though he immediately knew who we were, but I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad sign.

"Are you the Shapiro's?" he asked coming close to her.

It wasn't much of an exaggeration that Siobhan leapt out of her chair. "How's Robbie?" she asked, taking hold on one of my hands and one of her daughter's. The death grip she had on mine made me wonder if her daughter was getting the same treatment.

"The surgery went well," he said, as though he wanted to add a 'but'. It was for that exact reason that I didn't breathe the sigh of relief I had been holding in. His collapsed lung was repaired, along with the embolism. His vitals look well, and everything pretty much went according to plan. Robbie is very strong."

The way the doctor said 'pretty much' unnerved me, and Siobhan, too, it seemed. "What do you mean, 'pretty much'?" she asked.

"Nothing to worry about, I assure you, Ms. Shapiro. I'm sure that your son will make a full recovery."

"Can we see him?"

"Presently, he's coming out of post-op. He's still under anesthesia and I expect he will be for a few hours. Once we move him to a room in the ICU, however, you are more than welcome to sit with him." My heart started pounding in a region by my ears. _He's okay, _I thought. _Thank God, he's okay._ "Oh, and I believe that was left with us?"

He pointed at a wheelchair that a nurse had brought out. Sitting in the place of a patient—or just an unfortunate soul like myself—was Rex.

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><p><strong>Hey hey. I've decided to update this every two days because then it's pretty consistent and not too quick and whatnot. Plus, that gives me enough time to research all the medical stuff I need. I tried to make the ending lighthearted because I figured after all the drama you could use a little bit of humor or whatever you want to call Rex's appearance, really. I added the bit about Robbie's family because like I said, this is AU and therefore not everything needs to follow <em>Victorious<em>'s example, plus I thought it would help the Cabbie storyline later. I took the English section of my CAHSEE (California High School Exit Exam) today and I have math tomorrow, I'm soo nervous even though I shouldn't be… I really don't know how my writing went on it. Anyway, I am positively BEAMING about the feedback this has gotten, I was not expecting it but reviews just came flooding in! :D Thank you to everyone that said this was good in advance. Also, Paulie, I'm not sure what you mean by the 'other story'? I'm new to the _Victorious_ fandom, so I haven't written another story.**

**- Hatter of Madness**


	3. Fix You

"Rex!" I said in surprise, then immediately threw my hand over my mouth. Was I an idiot? All was quiet on this side of the hospital, and besides, Rex was a puppet, even if "he" didn't like to be called that. It wasn't like he was going to answer me back.

Siobhan smiled, seemingly thankful for the lighthearted moment. Sylvia gritted her teeth, rolling her eyes, and Allison burst into silent tears. Her small body—too small for a thirteen-year-old girl, in my opinion—shook with each sob. She was very close to Robbie, and, of course, she _was_ the one who had bought Rex for him. The smile fell from Siobhan's face as quickly as it came. Immediately she took the chair I had once occupied, trying to calm her daughter. When it proved to be no good, they took a quick walk down the corridors. It quickly fell silent; I ignored the blazing looks Sylvia sent me, fighting the urge to scowl back. It was no secret that apart from Robbie and Allison, I was not too big a fan of the Shapiro family.

To avoid the temptation to start screaming at her, I pulled out my phone and composed a quick group text to everyone at school, plus my mom so that she would know what was going on; the little details (such as my skipping school), I would fill her in on later.

_Robbie in hospital w/ collapsed lung & blood clot. In surgery now, should be out soon._

Siobhan came back with Allison only a minute before Doctor William did. "He's just settled in the ICU," he said before we had a chance to ask. "Naturally, he's still under the anesthetic. We expect he'll be out for another hour or so before he comes to. However, so long as there are no…illnesses"—he looked at me; with my scraped legs and wheelchair, added onto my red and puffy eyes from crying (which I wasn't aware I was doing), I suppose I didn't scream 'healthy'—"you're welcome to go back anytime."

"He's alright?" Sylvia asked, bitter and impatient.

"I'm certain that without incident and with bed rest, he's sure to make a full recovery," Doctor William said, nodding. "The ICU is on the sixth floor, and take a right from the elevator. You won't miss it."

Sylvia waited until the doctor was out of earshot before saying, "I'll just be going. Best wishes to all of you." And true to her word, she stood and walked out the door of the hospital.

I was burning with rage, but knew it was not my place to say anything. Of course, I'm sure it was a relief to all of us that Robbie was okay, but dear God, didn't she even want to _see_ her grandson? After all, he had just had surgery and more often than not, she was responsible for taking care of him, when he wasn't being siphoned from his mom's to his dad's.

Allison, although she did not acknowledge her grandmother or her actions, stood up, picked up Rex from the wheelchair, and set him on my lap. Without exchanging a word, I knew exactly why she did it.

Siobhan grabbed onto the handles of my wheelchair while I supported Rex. Together, the three of us—four, if you counted the puppet—got onto an elevator and pressed the six. When the doors opened, it was like we were in a separate building entirely. It seemed that this entire floor was for post-surgery patients or newborn babies; at the end of the hallway to our left was a sign that read 'Neonatal Intensive Care Unit'.

Doctors went this way and that. Just like Doctor William had said, to our left was another sign that said 'Intensive Care Unit'. We had just spotted it when a woman at the reception desk saw us exit the elevator. "Are you the Shapiro's?" she asked.

"Well, about half of them," Siobhan said.

"I'll flash you in," she said, pressing a button on a keypad. The doors below the Intensive Care Unit sign swing open. Looking down the hallway, there were several doors, and I wondered just how many of the rooms were occupied. We went down the long hallway. At the end was a clipboard tacked to the wall. Once we got close I rushed to read it:

_NAME: Shapiro, Robert A.  
>AGE: 17<br>DATE OF BIRTH: April 7, 1994  
>PHYSICIAN: William Moore, M.D.<br>CONDITION: Pneumothorax, pulmonary embolism (both in left lung)  
>NOTES: Critical but stable condition. Vegan. Allergic to gluten.<br>MEDICINE: Morphine as needed, heparin._

Finally, all that was between us and Robbie was a door with a list of ICU rules. There was the usual, of course—don't pester the patient, quiet voices…but my eye fell on one in particular: "All visitors to the ICU must be the age of 12 or older unless otherwise noted and be a family relation to the patient."

I wasn't related to Robbie.

"Siobhan, this is against the rules," I said sadly. "We're not related."

"What they don't know won't hurt them," was her reply. I didn't have the time to react to this, as she swung open the door and we went inside. She let go of the handles on the wheelchair as I tried to gain control. I could only move at a slow pace, both from lack of experience and from the torn skin on my hands.

The first thing my eyes fell on were machines surrounding a bed that appeared to be empty. There was a bedside table, too; a door that I assumed led to a bathroom; and plastic chairs. When I got closer, I realized that the bed was not as empty as I had once thought. Closer examination revealed that the bed was occupied by…

"Robbie." It left my lips in a whisper, completely against my control. But the sight of him shocked me. He was hooked up to several monitors, one that was obviously a heart monitor, what with the line rising and falling, plus the annoying yet oddly comforting beeping. There was an IV continuously dripping, with what, I didn't know. There was one more tube that didn't seem to lead anywhere, but in his slumber, Robbie clutched a button—a remote control, kind of—just a single button. I assumed this controlled the final tube. No, it wasn't the _final_ tube. Naturally, since he had just had lung surgery, he was breathing through a tube in his nose.

Apart from the unsettling machines, with their odd functions and noises, and all the tubes that almost engulfed him, there was just the fact that Robbie didn't seem like…well, Robbie.

I looked at the pale, emotionless face of my best friend. It was not much of an exaggeration to say that he was white as paper. He looked as though he had been hit by a truck, though the look on his face was border line peaceful, even if it was blank. It took most of my willpower to bring me to come closer to him; Allison crumpled into a plastic chair and tried not to cry. Siobhan sat next to her, rubbing circles on her back with her hand. It was the first time I had ever seen the family at peace.

I stopped at the foot of his bed, itching and yet so afraid to move any closer. Looking over my shoulder, I met eyes with Siobhan and she nodded, as though inviting me. Not wanting to break the silence, I pushed myself forward carefully. His hand lay exposed on the bed. Carefully, since there were all sorts of tubes on it, I took hold of it. I could feel Siobhan's watchful eyes on me, but I knew she was alright with what I was doing.

His hand was cold as ice. It was like there was no heat left in his body. A part of me wondered if he was cold, though it had been pleasantly warm outside.

I took my PearPod out of my bag and turned on some music to try to take my mind off things. I felt that if I kept thinking, I'd start to cry again, and I didn't want that. I listened to a few Cuttlefish songs when it came to me. _Our _song.

_She's Got You High _by Mumm-Ra.

The relationship between Robbie and I was complicated. At one point, he thought that there was something between him and Trina after they shared a stage kiss, saying there was "no way she could fake that kind of passion". We were best friends—and still are, otherwise I wouldn't have rode my bike at breakneck speed to make sure he was okay, ultimately being knocked to the ground and getting messed up pretty badly. But because we were best friends, I had kissed him passionately to prove a point, though I don't think either of us thought of it as a stage kiss. In fact, he asked me to meet his parents immediately after. Apart from that, I was one of the only people to understand the significance of Rex to him. Later, he asked me to go to "Prome" with him, and sometimes I ask myself why I said 'yes' to Tug's request when I obviously wanted to wait to go with Robbie…as friends.

A part of me had brought me here from panic—Siobhan's fear and uncertainty over the phone for her son had shook me to the core. There was also the fact that Robbie and I were best friends, and I knew he would do the same for me in an instant.

But I couldn't shrug the part of me that wondered if it was for the sparks on my fingers from holding his hand or the longing I felt looking at his face.

No, I didn't love Robbie. I didn't even like him—best friends didn't do that. A boy and a girl could be best friends without any strings attached. Robbie and I were proof of that.

Then why did you run to your bike as soon as you got the call?

It was a voice in my head that sounded oddly like Rex. I tried to ignore it. I was on an adrenaline rush; there was no way that I liked Robbie.

_You can't deny you're looking for the sunset,_ James New sang. Without a second thought, I took one of the headphones out of my ears and stuck it in Robbie's, looking at his glasses on the table. I carefully laid Rex down next to him, waiting patiently for him to wake up. I laid my arms down on the opposite edge of his bed, putting my chin in the space created there. It was a nicer way to be.

Tentatively, I allowed my hand to reach up and brush some hair out of his eyes, allowing the back of my hand to run down his cheek. The simple contact of our skin made chills run immediately up and down my spine. "Wake up soon," I whispered, realizing that Siobhan and Allison had locked eyes on me. I quickly snapped up straight and started picking at my finger nail polish, taking my headphones out of both of our ears. It wasn't doing me any good, and he probably couldn't hear it anyway.

The reason I had taken interest in my fingers wasn't so much that there was anything interesting in them; it was more that I could no longer bring myself to look at Robbie. The truth was, despite the almost peaceful look on his face, there was a lack of existence there, too. He just looked…_lifeless_. Peeking out of the top of his hospital gown was a red mark that I just couldn't stand to even think about looking at. They had done surgery there…

Soon, it was over an hour after we had arrived in the ICU and he just wouldn't wake_ up. _It was starting to get unnerving. And then…

Robbie's lips started to part slightly, then snapped shut again. "Robbie?" Siobhan said, as she noticed too. We all locked eyes on him. I wasn't sure if anyone was more anxious than I was. His fingers started to close around mine, then he seemed to realize something or someone was there, and snapped open again; his other hand, too, released the grip on the button. His eyes shut tight, then relaxed again. We all held our bated breath. His eyes opened a crack, a look of confusion starting to spread on his face, then he shut them again. I knew he had heard Siobhan, and he proved it to us when he breathed one word in what could hardly be called a whisper: "Mom."

Siobhan stood, walking over and standing behind me. "Robbie, it's your mother," she whispered soothingly. His eyes opened again and he strained to look at her, as he didn't have his glasses. I could feel tears springing into my eyes, finally seeing once again the brown eyes that had deceived me for so long. Feeling the odd glances from both Robbie's mother and sister, I tried to gently take my hand away, but Robbie had other plans. He wouldn't let go.

He seemed disoriented. "Where am I?" he asked.

"The ICU, honey," she said gently. "In the hospital."

He was too dazed to even notice me or pick up Rex, which I had been expecting. I wasn't sure if he was fully aware of his surroundings or the fact that his puppet was laying right next to him.

"How are you feeling?" Allison said, finally speaking up.

He winced slightly. "My chest hurts." His words were slurred. _Why did I find it so cute?_

"You just had surgery on your lungs, honey," Siobhan said, trying to make it sound like it was no big deal.

He looked at her as though she wasn't speaking English. She sat on the edge of his bed, and I moved slightly out of her way to make room for her. "Your left lung collapsed and you had a blood clot in a main artery." She brushed his hair off his forehead and kissed the skin tenderly, saying, "Thank God you're okay."

Even if this wasn't making much sense, he seemed to realize the severity of the situation. "How lon' have I been out?" His words were so slurred that he seemed to have trouble even forming the simplest of sentences. All I could think was _don't cry, don't cry, whatever you do, don't cry in front of him…_

"You fainted at around seven this morning, I think. I'm not sure if you were completely awake in the ambulance or not once they shocked you, though. It was pretty quickly after we got here that they gave you anesthesia, and now it's after three."

After three… Crap, I had completely forgotten about school in my haste. Now, I had unexcused absences that I knew my mom would not be happy to hear about. Hopefully, I could get her to see reason once I explained the situation…

He seemed to be coming up with hundreds of questions, but he finally settled on one. He only had time to say "Where's…" before he was cut off by his mother. "Rex is right next to you. I assume Cat put him there?" I blushed, looking down at my knees. "Your glasses are on the table, Mamaw is probably with Papa Maury, and your father is at his house…"

His cold fingers started to close around mine again before he realized that there was something there. "Cat," he whispered, turning at me and squinting to make out my shape. I had seen his eyes light up when his mother mentioned my name, but I had said nothing.

I hid my face. I just couldn't bring myself to make eye contact with him.

Allison whimpered and she blurted out, "I thought I would lose you."

"You're not gettin' rid of me that easy," he said, slurring his words horribly, in a way that was so undeniably cute that the four of us had a hard time concealing smiles. I could see his hand creep into Rex's back and in a slurred voice that was very distinctively his puppet's came the words, "Aw, ain't that a shame."

"Robbie!" Siobhan said in surprise, but even she couldn't mistake the giggle that escaped her daughter's lips and she, too, chuckled.

"Don't blame him," I said, smiling too. "It was Rex that said it."

"Well, either way," she said, placing a hand on his wrist—the arm that was holding my hand. "I'm just so thankful that you're okay." She leaned forward and held him like he was a little kid. He looked slightly uncomfortable, but I assumed it was from the pain in his chest.

"I'm going to take your sister to get something to eat," she said, drawing away. "Cat, do you want anything?"

I turned about as red as my hair. Truth be told, I had been far too nervous while waiting for Robbie to wake up to really be hungry, and now that he was awake, the nervousness that had replaced my hunger was now being replaced with a sense of overwhelming relief. "No, thank you M—Siobhan."

Robbie looked surprised that I was on a first-name basis with his mother, but said nothing. "If you need anything, or if you're hungry, just press that button right there," she said, standing and pointing at a button on the arm, or something, of the bed he was in that had a picture of a woman, like what was on bathroom signs. Siobhan placed a hand on Allison's shoulder and started to lead her to the door, then turned and said, "Are you sure you don't need anything, Cat?"

"Positive, but thank you." I smiled warmly as the door opened and shut, then turned back to Robbie. "Hey, you," I whispered. "Do you want your glasses?"

He shook his head. "No offense, but why are you here?" Robbie asked. I knew that he was sincere even without the 'no offense', as his voice was gentler, almost, then when he was speaking to his mother or sister.

"Your mom called me while I was at lunch and said that you were, well…you were 'put under'. She just sounded really nervous and, well…all day, people kept giving me these really freaky looks, and I thought the two things were related. You're my best friend, Robbie. I just wanted to see if you were okay." There was a long pause in which Robbie looked at me and I became shy, turning away. "You can let go of my hand anytime…" I muttered.

He smiled and chuckled, but pulled his hand away slowly, almost hesitantly, and closed it into a fist. "Anyone miss me?" he asked.

I nodded. "Tori did for sure. I don't know, a lot of people didn't really talk to me today so I wouldn't know." Reflecting, my friends' behavior had been pretty weird that day, and I wasn't sure if it would ever be explained to me. I brushed it off, trying not to make Robbie worried. For added effect, I shrugged. "No big deal, I was kind of quiet."

He wanted to know more, I could tell, but dropped it. Trying to change the subject, but realizing quickly that I picked a bad topic, I said, "Did it…hurt?"

He grimaced, thought for a moment as though wondering how to phrase it, and nodded. "It felt like I had just a ton of weight on my chest. They gave me some morphine, though." He suddenly looked down at the button he had once been holding, and now I could see where it connected to a machine through a long wire. On the top it was labeled '_Morphine_'. I assumed it was so he could medicate himself. "I think it really affected me."

"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow. "Why do you say that?"

"I could have sworn I heard music."

* * *

><p><strong>Good chapter? Yes? No? I finished my CAHSEE yesterday, it was alright. I actually sat in my second period today and wrote an outline of where I want this story to go, chapter by chapter. Since this is a drama, I'm trying to keep dramatic things happening in each chapter, plus IMO, it keeps things more interesting. And Paulie (I mention you a lot I think :p Oh well) you are definitely right, but that won't be addressed until this gets closer to the end. So um…yeah. Moxxy, I included that a bit in my outline, but you'll see. Anyway, I'll update this again Saturday. I'm also just going to let you know that all of the chapter titles are plays on song titles, since Moxxy mentioned it in a review. Leave thoughtsideas/opinions in reviews and such?**

**- Hatter of Madness**


	4. Gonna Get No Sleep Tonight

That night came quickly and I had called my mom, telling her that I was going to stay the night there. She didn't exactly approve of the idea of me staying the night anywhere other than home on a school night, but I told her that I had really hurt my ankle, exaggerating it a bit so she could side with me, so I should probably stay off it for a day or two. She met up with Siobhan outside and gave her my pajamas, which she brought to me in the ICU.

"I'm going to go home since Cat's here," she told Robbie immediately after I came out of the bathroom. I had gone in there to change my clothes. "Besides, I have to be at work first thing in the morning."

"Okay, Mom," he said, sounding a lot like a little kid.

She kissed his forehead. "Are you sure you want to stay here, Cat?" she asked, sounding more and more like _my_ ownmother.

"I'm positive, M—Siobhan," I said. I still hadn't grown used to using her first name. "I'll be fine."

"It's just that there's not a second bed for you…" she started to say, but Robbie cut her off.

"We'll be fine, okay? And if there's anything that happens during the night, either the hospital or I will call you."

She looked back and forth between us, looking nervous, then said, "Be good." She said this more to me than to Robbie, I noticed. I was wondering what this might meant but hid it by smiling and nodding. "Good night," she called, grabbing her purse and heading towards the door. "I'll bring some of your stuff by tomorrow, Robbie."

"Night, Mom. Thanks," he said.

"Good night, Siobhan," I said.

"Don't let the bedbugs bite," Rex said.

Siobhan looked back and said nothing, then continued walking towards the door. It didn't seem to me that she was very fond of the puppet, likewise Sylvia. In fact, other than Robbie and me, it seemed like the only person that saw the puppet as something of significant value was Allison. Siobhan had taken her a few hours earlier to her dad's; in her absence, Robbie tested what he was going to do at the Annual Showcase on me. It was a comedy act that was genuinely funny from beginning to end, though he could only explain the first part to me since he wasn't supposed to get out of bed.

Basically, it began with Robbie telling a few jokes—he usually wasn't very good with coming up with his own material, but I was practically shaking with laughter. Then he said, "I have a puppet—I have a friend…this is when I get up and walk around," he informed me, "have you seen him? He's this big"—he indicated with his hands—"and he's a dummy…he's a real dummy…"

I laughed as he told me his plan to have Rex sit beside Allison in the audience. He was going to make sure his family was in one of the front rows. In surprise, I said, "Your family's going?"

He frowned. "Uh, well…at least Mom and Allison."

I immediately felt bad for asking. He went through the rest of the act with me, which greatly reminded me of something of Jeff Dunham's, though a lot of the act relied heavily on puns.

Before long, it was close to eleven and a nurse came in to check on Robbie. To her surprise, we were both awake. "Robbie, you should probably get some sleep," she said. "I should imagine that after the day you've had, you'd need some rest."

He nodded, taking off his glasses. "Good night, Cat."

"Night, Robbie," I said, trying to get myself comfortable in the wheelchair. It was cramped and not very comfortable, but there was only one bed in the room. My ankle continued to throb and scars were already beginning to form on my hands and legs. I had refused—several times—to take Neosporin from Siobhan. I wasn't used to the attention she was giving me, but a part of me thought it was just because we were in front of Robbie that she was being so kind.

"Good night, Rex," Robbie said.

"Are they gonna cut me open, too?" Rex asked in a scathing voice.

"Shut up and go to sleep."

It immediately fell quiet. It may have been the morphine that I had to almost force him to take, but Robbie fell asleep within minutes. I watched him after several minutes of trying to curl up into a comfortable position, but sleep just wouldn't come.

_You need some rest, _I thought. _Today's been hectic._ The voice in my head wouldn't stop nagging me; in all actuality, the thoughts were just prolonging the wait to fall asleep. For a split second, I thought that I honestly wouldn't mind some morphine, either. Anything to get some sleep…I was starting to feel exhausted, yet slumber just wouldn't come. My eyes grew heavier and heavier.

Robbie's heart monitor was starting to drive me insane. I was grateful for it, naturally, as it reminded me that he was alive. But I hated it. It was driving me insane, in my mind. The gears were turning and the insufferable beeping was driving me up the wall. I wanted to smash it to bits just for a few minutes shut eye. The way that Robbie rested was annoying, yet somehow adorable. I wondered for a moment how Robbie had been completely oblivious to this when _he _had fallen asleep, when it was driving me up the wall. Rex lay on the bed with him, almost like a child with their teddy bear. Without thinking, I brushed Robbie's hair off his forehead, thinking about how childlike he really was.

My thoughts suddenly changed; I was feeling so peaceful. _I'm not falling asleep. I have to stay awake. I'm just going to shut my eyes for a minute._

I rested my hand on the bed, turning my head sideways and resting it there as well. It was surprisingly more comfortable than trying to figure out how to fix myself in the wheelchair. I blinked, each time my eyes staying closed longer than the last. It took a lot of willpower to force them open.

_I'm not going to sleep. I'm going to stay awake. Just for a little bit longer. I can't fall asleep, not now…_

The heart monitor started to sound like a lullaby, a computerized lullaby, my eyes growing heavier and heavier with each successive beep. I had to keep watching him, even if I was watching through my lashes and not with my eyes.

_I'm not going to sleep. I'm just going to rest my eyes…_

* * *

><p>I must have passed out after that, because the next thing I knew could not have been reality. I was walking through the cemetery, a thick fog covering the ground. It was cold, yet I did not show any signs that I was chilly; my teeth weren't chattering, I didn't have goose bumps, I wasn't shivering. Yet I knew for sure that it was cold. I was positive that I was.<p>

My ankle was now on fire, each step feeling like a personal hell. Yet I wasn't limping and I continued to walk. Everything just seemed so normal, and yet so out of place. I couldn't understand what I was experiencing.

I approached a tombstone, struggling to read the name, but the fog was too thick. No matter how close to the stone I came, no name was intelligible. It felt foreboding, standing there in the cemetery, and as much as I tried to will myself to move, I couldn't. Instead, I sat on the ground, just sitting in front of the stone, occasionally touching it. I felt bad. Unlike the other stones, this place marker had no flowers—never mind if the flowers in the place were dead.

Suddenly, a voice called to me with one word, a certain degree of urgency in the voice: "Help."

Suddenly able to control myself again, I looked around. The voice…it was so familiar. I stood, looking for the voice again.

"Help…Cat…help…"

I followed the voice. It was coming from Hollywood Arts, only the school was now colorless. I looked down and realized that the entire thing was in black and white, even myself. I was in a white dress that fell to my knees, the scars on my legs gone. I had no shoes on, but my feet weren't cold against the icy ground. That was when I became aware that I was dreaming.

I followed the voice some more. I walked up to the school and tried to open the door, but it easily outweighed me by a thousand pounds, it was so heavy. I finally forced it open and walked in, looking around. The voice was gone.

I walked slowly up the stairs, trying to will myself to go faster, but the harder I tried, the slower I walked. I finally found the source of the voice. It was a classroom, which appeared to be completely empty, but I opened the door nonetheless.

It was dark. I tried flipping on the lights but nothing happened. Suddenly, it felt as though my feet were bricks; I tried to move forward but I couldn't even lift my legs. I was rooted to the spot as I struggled to make out what I was seeing…and nearly gasped in horror when I did.

Robbie lay on the ground, clutching his chest in agony. "Cat," he mumbled, seeing me. He gasped in pain.

"Robbie!" I cried.

His grip on his chest increased and I realized that he wasn't wearing a shirt. His chest bare, I could see all of the cuts and scars from his surgery. The pain on his face is intense. "I need help," he whispers. "Cat, please…"

I tried to move forward but it was like I was stuck. I started to scream his name, but it was like he was oblivious to my every word. I tried screaming louder, but he continued to mutter for my help until…

The flat line.

He said one thing even after the long and steady beep, but it was the last thing I heard: "Cat." It was in a normal volume, which should have surprised me, but didn't.

"Robbie," I started to whimper, realizing he was gone.

He was suddenly gone and all I saw was blackness. I continued to say his name, and I continued to hear him say my own. "Come back," I whispered.

"Cat."

I suddenly sat up in surprise, my eyes unfocused. I saw Robbie, a look of concern and worry on his face. His hand was controlling Rex, which became known to me when the puppet's voice said, "About time she shuts up."

"Robbie, you're okay," I sighed in relief.

He frowned. "Of course I am. You were having a nightmare, Cat."

It all came flooding back to me, and I shut my eyes tight, trying to shake the image of Robbie lying on the floor, his chest exposed…dying. It was the worst sight I had ever seen. I tried to bring my knees to my chest, but I was so close to Robbie's bed that my legs were underneath the surface and it was impossible to without backing up.

"Come here," he said.

I shook my head, wrapping my arms around me and feeling like a little kid. He sighed.

"Cat, please. It is almost five in the morning, and I am not going to argue with you at five o'clock in the morning. Get over here."

His demanding tone was what convinced me. I took the brakes off of the wheelchair, then came around to the other side of the bed so that he wouldn't have to move away from the machines he was hooked up with. I carefully climbed out of the chair into the space he made for me in the bed. Rex and I traded positions; Robbie handed him to me to put into the wheelchair so that there was more room for me.

"What was it?" he asked, almost like a father. It was an odd idea, thinking of Robbie as a father to anyone, especially to myself.

I tried to lie and say it was nothing, but he gave me a look as though he was staring straight into my soul. "I saw…a cemetery. And at the end of the cemetery was Hollywood Arts, and everything was in black and white. And there was this voice, crying out for help, and I followed it, and I found…you. On the ground. With all these cuts and scars on your chest. And you were clutching your chest in pain and you kept saying my name…"

I hadn't realized that I was crying, but Robbie reached up and wiped some stray tears off my cheek. "It was just a dream, Cat," he assured me.

"But it was just so like…today," I said. It was true. The images were like what I had heard Siobhan describe to me earlier, though she had never mentioned him saying my name. There was a long silence, then I said, "What did it feel like?"

"What, hearing you having a nightmare or what happened today?"

"Both."

He thought, then said, "The nightmare…I felt desperate. Like I had to help you. It was really…not good. But what happened this morning… Have you ever been hit by a truck?" I shook my head. "Well, neither have I, but I assume it feels something like that. It was almost as though a truck was parked on my chest, it hurt so bad."

"I'm sorry," I said, trying hard not to cry again.

We were both very much awake by this point. Robbie reached over, grabbed his glasses, and turned on the bedside lamp. Light flooded the room. On the table beside his bed was a deck of cards and he pulled a table over the bed, then said, "Do you know how to play any card games?"

I stared at him. "I just had a nightmare and you want to play _cards?_"

He laughed, though it looked painful. "Well, I need to take your mind off things so you don't have _another _nightmare, don't I?"

"No arguing with that logic." I sat like the way they had taught us in kindergarten, crisscross applesauce or whatever it was, and straightened. Robbie, too, sat upright. "I know how to play fish, and slapjack.

"Slapjack it is."

We played slapjack for a while, which got a bit boring, so he finally said, "Okay, well, this has been fun and all, but you're going to learn how to play solitaire. Specifically, Klondike." I felt like an idiot for not knowing how to play the way he said it.

He picked up the cards and shuffled them, then he laid the cards out—seven cards, the last six face down but the first face up. He continued to deal cards in a pattern, then explained the game in more detail as we went.

Before I knew it, it was already seven thirty and I was feeling very, very tired. Robbie, too, had to suppress a yawn into one of our games of solitaire. "You tired?" he asked.

I nodded, unable to say anything.

"Go to sleep, you," he commanded.

"Only if you do, too," I said back.

"Close the curtains."

I stood, hobbled over to the window on my bum leg, and shut the blinds. It _was_ a bit hard to relax with the sun blazing in through the window. Soon, my eyes started to get the heavy feeling again.

When I was half asleep, Robbie said, "Do you know what I thought, right before I blacked out yesterday?"

"Hmmm?" I was finding it hard to say much else and had to force my eyes awake to look at him.

He smiled. "Cat is going to kill me for leaving her alone with Jade."

* * *

><p><strong>I'm sorry this is so late in the day for an update (and yes, it's still Saturday when I am, so I'm still on track), but I got wayyyy sidetracked when I started to write a script for a short film. I really like the idea. I guess if anyone wants to read it, inbox me or write it in a review? Sorry if there are any typos in this, since it's so late in the day I didn't reread it like I normally do since I wanted to post this on time. I really appreciate all of the reviews, favourites, and alerts this has gotten. I feel very proud of this :3 I got recognized the other day on Facebook for my Harry Potter fics, most notably my Wolfstar oneshots and story. It was a weird moment o.O I was commenting on a Harry Potter fanpage and we were talking about different ships that we like so I said that I really liked Wolfstar (Remus and Sirius) and wrote a few Wolfstar stories, so the admin asked what my pen name on FF was so I said Hatter of Madness. Her response? "YOU'RE THE HATTER OF MADNESS!" It was nice. x3 Happy St. Patrick's Day to everyone :D Oh, the other day was my two year FanFiction anniversary :D so that was good. Lately my writing on here has blown up? I get a ton of emails from this site now, it's kind of scary o.O Please review.<strong>

**- Hatter of Madness**


	5. Cat is the Only Exception

"What's your cousin's name again?"

"Cat."

"She's a heavy sleeper, isn't she?" Laughter.

"Had a nightmare last night."

"She looks about ready to fall off the bed. Well, I wanted to check up on her foot. I noticed yesterday that it looked a little swollen. If she wakes up soon, let me know."

"Oh, I think she'll be waking up _very _soon…"

Someone started nudging me in my sleep. "Cat," the voice that belonged to that person said. I curled into a ball, shutting my eyes tighter. "Cat." The voice was firmer that time. I groaned in protest, not opening my eyes. An exasperated sigh followed. "Cat, get up." I suddenly became aware of a constant beeping, and I opened a bleary eye. As my eyes slowly focused, I took in the sight of Robbie, holding Rex, and a nurse by his bedside.

"About time, Sleeping Beastly," Rex said.

"Rex," Robbie said bitterly.

I squinted in the light. "What time is it?" I asked.

"A quarter till."

"Till _what?_"

"Till ten." I sat up straighter, looking around. I must have looked confused, because Robbie said, "You _do _remember that you ditched school yesterday and ran here, right?"

"Of course. I'm not an idiot."

"Then I suppose you'll remember falling and hurting your ankle?" the nurse asked. It was the woman that had sat at the reception desk in the ICU just less than twenty-four hours before. I wondered if she knew that Robbie and I weren't related, but I was sure that in my sleep I had heard her call me his 'cousin', even if she had laughed when she said it.

I nodded. "Unfortunately." My leg was still throbbing in pain if I moved it in an odd way.

"Can I see it?" she asked, coming around to my side of Robbie's bed. I wondered if I had shown any signs that we _weren't_ cousins, since once I had fallen asleep after our card game I had had a very pleasant dream…it was definitely a turnaround from the nightmare I had experienced. I put my foot towards her and she started to poke and prod it, much to my discomfort. "It's a bit warm," she told me, "and you're bruising. Is there any pain?"

"A little, but not too bad," I lied quickly.

She frowned. "I'd like to take you to get some X-rays done, if you don't mind." Seeing my look, she said, "It'll only take a few minutes. I'm just very concerned about the state of your ankle."

I sighed, then agreed, hobbling over to the wheelchair and allowed her to push me out of the room. I whipped around, seeing Robbie, who had a sheepish look on his face. "You told her, didn't you?" He didn't respond. "You. Owe. _Me._"

With that, the nurse opened the door and we got on an elevator. The nurse said nothing the entire way, but when the doors opened, she said, "So you and Robbie are cousins?"

I started to say no, but caught myself. "Yep."

"He's lucky to have family that he's so close to," she said, smiling. I immediately felt terrible. If only she knew the _real_ truth about his family… The divorce, the way his parents thought of his talents… The way his father thought of him in general.

She was right in saying that the X-rays wouldn't take long. It was only about fifteen minutes later that I was wheeling myself back through the doors of the ICU, and the nurse said she would have results a few minutes later. To my surprise, when I got back to the room, the small table above Robbie's bed was out and there were not one, but two trays of breakfast waiting. I transferred myself from the wheelchair to the bed and ate with Robbie.

"What's it take a puppet to get some food around here?" Rex complained.

"Stuff a sock in it," Robbie said. I smiled; he noticed the look on my face. "What?"

The grin disappeared as quickly as it came and I shook my head. "Nothing." Truth be told, I wasn't entirely sure what had brought it on in the first place. "So, hospital food." I grimaced. "Wonderful, isn't it?" We each had received oatmeal with blueberries, two slices of toast, and a glass of orange juice. "Is this vegan?" I asked.

"I should assume so, since they know I'm a vegan," Robbie said. I trusted his judgment, taking a spoonful of brown sugar and adding it to my breakfast.

"Good. I'm starved." I hadn't eaten since lunch the day before, and really, I hadn't really eaten anything then. I had just picked at my food and had given up my apple so that Andre could show us his juggling. I was shaken by the thought—that was just minutes, no, _seconds_ before I had found out about Robbie. Chills ran down my spine, but I covered it up by taking a drink of juice. "Yum," I said, smiling. "Concentrate!"

Robbie, too, was drinking from his glass and immediately, what little liquid had made it to his mouth came spraying back out. He started to roar with laughter. After a moment's hesitation, I laughed, too. "I think that is the best thing I have ever heard you say," Robbie told me.

I smiled back. Soon, the nurse came in with the results of my X-rays, telling me that I had fractured my ankle. She gave me a pair of crutches that she said I'd "eventually have to pay for" that I would use after I left the hospital and wrapped my foot in an ace bandage. Though I was upset from the injury, I had sort of anticipated it. My mother would not be happy ("Look, Ma, no walking!" I could imagine myself saying).

The day went by slowly. I helped Robbie with his ventriloquism act for the Annual Showcase and he helped me with mine, which was going to be combining a monologue with a musical number. He teased me every time I opened my mouth to sing.

Around three o'clock, by my request, Tori dropped off both of our schoolwork that we had missed. I met her outside the hospital since naturally she couldn't come into the ICU. When she saw me roll out of the building in my wheelchair, her eyes doubled in size. "Cat, are you okay?" she asked quickly.

For a minute, I didn't realize the problem. "Everything's fine." At first, I didn't even remember the bandages on my foot to help the bone heal, or the fact that my injured leg was propped up. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"You're in a _wheelchair, _Cat," she reminded me. I blushed bright red.

"Oh, _that,_" I said, giggling.

"Yes…_that._" Unlike me, she did not giggle or smile.

"Well…I rode my bike here," I said. My mom had come that night to take it home. "And some stupid head got in my way, so I swerved out of _her _way and I fell. I ended up fracturing my ankle." It sounded a lot worse than it probably was, I reflected, but she _was_ the one who asked me in the first place.

She blinked, then handed me our homework. "Have a good day?" she said, starting to leave, then turned around, saying, "Oh, I almost forgot…how's Robbie?"

"He's…alright. He was sort of out of it yesterday, but he's doing better today. He's doing well enough to use Rex, so that's good."

Tori didn't smile; if anything, her frown got bigger. "That's great," she said, but her tone implied something else. "Is he okay…mentally speaking? Or emotionally?"

Now it was my turn to frown. "Of course," I said. "I mean, I guess he could be better, being in the hospital and all. But otherwise, he's okay." I looked at her, with a look on her face almost as though she was hiding something. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, uh…nothing." She was lying, I could tell, but I said nothing. "Well, we all hope he gets better." She smiled. "Andre and Beck send their love. Trina too, and Sikowitz. And Jade…well, you know Jade."

I laughed; I _did_ know Jade very well. She was not exactly the type to 'send her love' to anyone. "Yeah, I figured as much. Tell everyone that he's doing okay?" I asked.

She nodded. "You want me to take you back inside?"

"Sure," I said, smiling at the thought of giving my arms a break. I had literally been pushing myself around and after a while, it was starting to take a toll on my body. I was not exactly what one would call 'muscular'. "But you can really only do that much. He's in the ICU and he's not really supposed to have visitors other than family."

Tori frowned but didn't question it. She took me to the elevator, said, "You two be safe," then turned and left the hospital again. I pressed the button with the large gray 'six' and waited. There was soft elevator music, and it made me wonder if I would be off crutches or out of a wheelchair or at the very least healed by the time the Annual Showcase, or even the school musical, rolled around (no pun intended).

When the elevator doors opened, I wheeled myself up to the nurse. "Can you open the doors, please?"

She smiled at me politely then pressed the button. The doors flew open. "Make sure you stay off your feet," she reminded me. "We don't want you to be aggravating your injury anymore."

I nodded back. "Will do," I promised, then went through the doors. I hadn't noticed the first time I had gone into the ICU that there was a button that automatically opened the doors for handicapped people, but it was definitely a useful tool once I got back from my X-rays. I pressed the button and the doors opened, then I went back inside and settled myself again in Robbie's bed. At his request, I propped my foot up using a pillow.

"Are you sure you don't want some ice?" he asked.

I nodded. "Positive. Really, Robbie, I'm not the one that just got cut open."

He grimaced. "Could you not mention it?"

"Sorry. What'd I miss?" The way he was treating me was making me slightly uncomfortable. _We're friends,_ I reminded myself. _Just friends, that's all…_

"Nothing much. Just working on my act for the Annual Showcase."

"You're gonna put everyone to sleep," Rex threw in.

"Just because you can't appreciate ventriloquism…" Robbie started, but was cut off by himself—or, rather, Rex.

"Ventriloquism? What do—ah, the boy thinks I'm a puppet!" He sounded offended. "That's insulting. What's a smile man gotta do to earn some respect?"

He got into an argument with Rex, then said, almost nervously, "Hey, Cat…while you were gone, I worked some more on my act and wanted to know if you thought it was any good…" He started to show it to me. At one point, he fell back into disagreement with Rex, but assured me it was all part of his routine. They got into a very heated debate, then Rex said, "Now, he can't kill me, because that would be a form of suicide."

I watched him. It was amazing to me how he could make it look as though Rex was talking even though it was obvious that Robbie was. "Say…Robbie," I said, feeling bad about interrupting.

"Hmm?"

"You still owe me from earlier."

He sighed. "What do you want me to do?"

"How do you do that?"

"What"

"Throw your voice. It looks so…realistic."

Rex started to open his mouth. "How many times do I have to…"

Robbie put his hand over Rex's mouth, 'cutting him off'. "Sorry about him," he told me. "Anyway, I can teach you, though I won't be as good as the video I got."

I frowned. "Video? What video?"

"Well, Rex sort of came with more than just a puppet." Before 'Rex' could say anything, he added, "_Yes, you are a puppet._ Anyway, he also came with three pairs of clothes and a pair of shoes and a book and DVD on ventriloquism. Anyway, the first thing you want to do is throw your voice across the room, because believe it or not, it makes it look more believable when you make a puppet start talking."

He started going through the motions with me. It took almost an hour, but finally, I was able to throw my voice across the room. It was still very rough, but he beamed at me like he was…proud of me. It was like a look of admiration—like what a teacher would have for a student (well, any teacher but Sikowitz, that is)—or even a look of…

No. Robbie was _not _in love with me. He was a friend, teaching me a new talent, and that was it. He was not falling in love with me, nor was he already there…he didn't have a crush on me… I would do whatever it took to convince myself of this. He was _not _in love, especially not with me. Never would he reach that stage, either.

"Hey, maybe one day, I can get you a puppet," he said. There was a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"So then we could have a ventriloquist act together."

So maybe _he _wasn't in love with me…but as for myself, I would take more convincing.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay so quick updateauthor's note. Um this chapter is very fluffy, sorry about that ^.^ I didn't really have any time for this chapter and I stuck to my outline so this chapter was just mehh. On the bright side, though, I am pretty much for sure going to make my short film as a gift for my mom's birthday. I (very likely) already have someone to play the guy :D I just need to see if he knows how to draw. Anyway, I'm going to be a bit slow at updating this, sorry… I have to start rehearsing my school play, so updates are probably going to be late in the day. That's why this was so late (also if there are any typos just ignore them for that reason), plus I had a ton of homework today and had to go to the dentist immediately after school. While they were working on my teeth, I fell asleep… Oops. xD My FF stats aren't working, the stats for this story haven't updated since Saturday…morning. I've emailed them, though, so if it's a site issue it should be worked out soon enough. Oh did you like my cliffhanger? ;) You know you love me hehehehe. Also if anyone wants to read the script I'll try to get a link out tomorrow. :D Please review?**

**- Hatter of Madness**


	6. The Mess We Made

"I honestly don't believe a word you're saying."

I rolled my eyes. "You're being unreasonable, Robbie. Why is it so hard to believe that I haven't seen a single one of those movies?"

"Because the last one is coming out soon! And they're a _huge _phenomenon!"

I sighed. "I don't see why it's so hard to believe that I've never seen a Harry Potter movie." I crossed my arms over my chest. He was being _so _beyond unreasonable. Just to add insult to injury (because of the state Robbie was in…no pun intended), I narrowed my eyes and opened my mouth again. "_And _I've never read so much as one word of the books either."

"Blasphemy!" The thing that surprised me is that to me, Robbie didn't seem like…well, like a Harry Potter fan…or a big fan of reading, either. But when I said I hadn't read the series, he sounded like I was insulting him personally, or even his religion (that pun _was _intended, since he said 'blasphemy'). Then, he shoved aside the small table above his bed, greatly upsetting the game board of the now discarded game.

"I spit on your grave," Rex said.

"Gee, thanks."

"Well, _come on_, Cat, they're sort of a big deal."

I hadn't left the hospital since I had arrived there. My mother had come to bring me a spare change of clothes and other necessities, giving them to Robbie's mom in the hospital parking lot once she arrived from her job. It was now day three of our time there, and I realized that the next day was Friday. I was going to have to cancel with the guys when it came to our movie 'date'. There was no way I was leaving Robbie…at least, not yet. I knew my mom would force me to eventually.

And the whole 'I'm not leaving yet' thing didn't help my complete and utter confusion. _We're friends,_ I said to myself about fifty times in my head. _We're just friends and that's all we'll ever be. Friends…_

Robbie started digging through his backpack that his mom had brought him, and he pulled out a DVD: _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone._ He read the title, replacing the word 'sorcerer' with 'philosopher', but I didn't question it. "By the end of the day," he said, "you're going to be a Potterhead. Now go put this in the DVD player."

I couldn't help but notice that Robbie seemed to have all of the lines memorized to the movie and that he was so into it that Rex didn't even make an input, except to say some of the more humorous lines, such as when Robbie said, "You come up with another clever idea to make us killed—or worse, _expelled_," and Rex finished, "She needs to sort out her priorities," putting extra emphasis on 'she' and 'her'. There was also, "Kill us faster? Oh, _now_ I can relax!"

Pretty soon, it was the end of the film, and I was surprisingly interested. "What happened to Voldemort? And what did about Nicolas Flamel?" I said, not even registering the door opening and closing. "And did Gryffindor win the Quidditch Cup? Snape was good all along? Then why does he hate Harry so much?"

"You know, the last movie comes out in five months," Robbie reminded me.

"Better start reading, Muggle," Rex said.

"Don't call me a Muggle!" I snapped, as though it were actually an offensive term. "But is Harry going back to the Dursleys? I _need _to know!"

"Oh, brother," Siobhan said from the doorway. Allison was at her soccer practice, and who knew if Sylvia was ever going to make another appearance. "Don't tell me you've made sweet, innocent Cat a Potter fan?"

Robbie smiled, looking embarrassed. "Well, she said she had never seen a movie," he said.

That was when the start of this impromptu film screening came flooding back to me. We had been playing Scrabble (his mother had brought it from home, along with other things like his phone, PearPod, and, yes, his Harry Potter stuff) and he played the word 'squib', and I had said there was absolutely _no way_ that 'squib' was a real word—and there was also the fact that the word, what with its 'q', earned him sixteen points. He _had _to have been making it up. But he insisted that it was a word that was invented by J. K. Rowling.

I furrowed my brow. "Who?"

"You know, the author of Harry Potter?"

I think my next move was the stupidest one: "That's a book?"

His jaw fell open and in the most amazing act of ventriloquism I've ever seen, Rex said, while Robbie's mouth was open, "Stupid Muggle."

"I don't know what that means but I'm offended."

And that's how, without even saying it myself, Robbie found out that I had never seen a Harry Potter movie. I'm pretty sure now, after watching the first one only, that the word 'Muggle' is used at least once per movie. That's really the only logical explanation I could give that my Muggle-ness was so apparent.

Siobhan sighed, shaking her head. "I'll never forgive myself for the time I went birthday shopping back in oh-one," she said. "'Oh, look, a book about a boy wizard, maybe Robbie will like this'…and here we are ten years later, and he's _still _obsessed about a boy living under some stairs…"

"He doesn't live under the stairs after the first few chapters," he told her, looking—once again—borderline offended. "He moved into Dudley's second bedroom."

"Hey!" I snapped. That little detail had been conveniently left out of the movie. "Spoiler alert!"

He grinned. "_You're_ the one who's never so much as picked up a Harry Potter book, missy."

"For once, I'm not the mean one," Rex said.

I, too, sighed. "Here I am," I teased, "stuck in a hospital without a book. Oh, whatever will I do with myself…"

Robbie laughed, but it looked like a painful effort, one that I didn't like. I winced in pain right along with him. Siobhan, too, contracted an even more prominent frown than she had once adorned. "Are you okay, Robbie?" she asked.

"I'm fine," he said, putting on a very forced smile. "How was your day, Mom?"

She didn't answer; instead, the frown got even deeper. "Really, Robbie, you might want to consider easing up a little. I would, if I were you."

I saw his eyes give an almost undetectable flick towards me, then back at his mom, saying, "No, really, Mom. I don't need anything, I'm fine. I just have to take it easy…"

"Robert Aaron Shapiro." I had never once in my life heard anyone say Robbie's full name, though I knew what it was. This was a side to his mother that I preferred not to see. But then, when Robbie was in pain…well, that was a part of _him _that I didn't want to see either.

"Full name? It's about to get real," Rex said, adding a bit of humor to the situation. I very nearly cracked a smile; the corners of Siobhan's mouth started to give an upward tug, too.

For the rest of Siobhan's stay, I carefully observed Robbie, flinching at the slightest sign of his discomfort. Finally, it got close to nightfall, and she announced, "Well, if things are okay here, then I'm gonna go pick up your sister and head home."

We said our good-byes once again, and she left us alone, with Robbie playing the audiobook of _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_ (or was it philosopher's?). I found it very hard to pay any attention to Jim Dale—the narrator, though Robbie was sure to mention that in England, Stephen Fry narrates—however. Once, Robbie coughed and I panicked, mistaking it for pain. He mentioned that I was 'very jumpy', which Rex echoed…several times.

After about the seventh 'jumpy', I was ready to strangle the puppet. Throwing his voice seemed to be a painstaking thing for Robbie, too. "Are you absolutely _sure_ you're okay, Robbie?"

He sighed. "Cat, listen. I know how much pain I can handle, and I have a high tolerance for pain. At the moment, I'm just at discomfort. If I ever get to the point where it gets _that _bad…" His voice trailed off. He was lying through his teeth, and I knew it. I could clearly see how much pain throwing his voice or just _laughing _caused. Sure, laughter could cause a stomach ache if you did it too long, but this pain was obviously in his chest, not his stomach. Besides that, it was more of a chuckle than a full-fledged laugh.

That was when I remembered the morphine button.

It was right there, in his hand. He was holding it without even realizing, I sensed. He had grabbed it during his coughing fit, then lessened his grip on it. That didn't mean, however, that he had forgotten about it or let it go. It was almost as though he realized I was in the room when he released his death grip…

That was it.

He was too afraid of looking weak in front of me to just take the damn medicine! It was so obvious then that I was surprised I didn't notice any sooner. He wouldn't take the morphine because he was too busy on his high horse, acting all noble and all. As far as I was concerned, he wouldn't relent until I was asleep or had left, neither of which would happen. At least, not until I saw him press the button.

_What if you did it?_ the voice in my head asked.

No, he'd never let me do that. He was more likely to admit that he was in pain than he was to relinquish the remote. He wasn't going to let go.

"You seem bored," he said as I stifled a yawn during the chapter entitled Letters From No One. It was almost as if I hurt his feelings again.

I shook my head. "I'm more of a visual learner, I guess," I said. Trying to take my mind off Robbie's growing discomfort, I said, "Say, doesn't Rex have a scarf like in the movie? The one that the Slytherins wore?"

He nodded. "Allison knitted it for him."

"She knows I'm a Slytherdor," Rex grumbled, but I had no idea what that could mean. Then Robbie set him down in my discarded wheelchair and asked if I would prefer to watch the second movie (_Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets_) as opposed to listen to the audiobook.

And that's when I got an idea.

It started forming as soon as I saw him set Rex down on my wheelchair. That was because when I saw him set him down, the idea seemed so blatantly obvious: Get him to let go of the remote.

But how was I going to get him to put it down when I couldn't even get him to admit he was in pain? That was obviously easier to do.

And then the plan snowballed. I almost immediately had a plan…one that I would beat myself up over for doing.

We got only a few minutes in the movie—the character Dobby the house-elf had just appeared—when I set my plan into action. "Can you explain something to me?" I asked.

"Hmm?"

"What exactly _is_ a house-elf?" Okay, so it was the worst question in the world, easily. But I was going to settle for anything—_anything_—that would distract him…just for a little while, so I could get him to let go of the damn morphine button.

"Well, it's an elf, obviously," he started to explain, "and they're magical creatures that are either owned by a witch or wizard or their family. They serve that one person or family forever and they're only freed by being given clothes by their master."

_Set it down. Set it down. Let go of the button._ "So, do any of them speak proper English or do they all talk like Dobby?"

"No, all of the ones I've seen talk like that," he said. "I don't really think any of them speak English the way the Brits do."

_Set it down. Put it down _now. _Let go of that remote._ If anything, his grip on it tightened, and I quickly changed tactics. I didn't understand. Usually, it was so easy for me to distract him. I suppose I couldn't then because we were watching a movie, one he happened to be very fond of.

It was getting closer and closer to midnight. Once the clock hit eleven fifty, I started my second plan. I stifled another yawn, then leaned against him. _God, kill me. This is evil. This is the worst plan just because it's so cruel. Please, just smite me now. _I shut my eyes, putting a stupid grin on my face and prayed that it was convincing.

He looked down at me. "You okay, Cat?"

"Oh, yeah. Just fine." I looked up at him, smiling even wider. "I'm just so glad you're doing this for me."

"Doing what?" His grip lessened on the remote. _It's working. Keep doing this. Just set it down, Robbie, set it down… Forget all about it…_

"Well, for being my friend, for starters. And for showing me these movies. I think I'm about twenty-five percent turned."

"Turned to what?"

"A Harry Potter fan." _Let go of the button. Give it to me._

He turned to me. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I didn't want to have to resort to it, but I could hear the voice in my head kick into overdrive. _Do it. Do it now while he's distracted_. I nodded, dropping my voice to a whisper. "Everything's fine," I reassured, making sure my warm breath hit me squarely on the jaw. I could almost see the chills run down his spine, then I could positively hear the voice in my head screaming. _Do it now. Get it done with. It's the only way_. "I'm so glad we're friends." And while he was vulnerable, I reached up and kissed his jaw.

It worked like a charm; he almost dropped the remote. Almost.

"C-Cat," he said in surprise. "W-what was that for?"

I fought a smile. _Good,_ I thought. _Keep stuttering._ I had to reassure myself that I was happy because the plan was working, not for my own nefarious purposes. "You know, I'm really sorry that I went to prome with Tug, and not you," I said, forcing myself to sound as 'sexy' as possible, taking a page from Jade's book to accomplish it. "I just didn't know if you'd ask me."

"I-it's okay," he stammered, then I reached up even farther and kissed his cheek. I could see his fingers relax even more, but even the confused look on his face couldn't mask the pain. _Step it up. You've got to do this._ I felt absolutely wicked and dirty doing it. "But Cat…"

I leaned in even closer, my head almost resting on his neck and collarbones. "But nothing," I said. _Time to lie…_ "I've always felt this way, you know." I fluttered my lashes coquettishly. "Always…"

"Always…" he muttered back. Without even saying anything, I knew I had made a Harry Potter reference. To what, I didn't know or care. I allowed myself to look down. He barely had a grip on the remote, but the second my eyes fell on it…

He released it.

I started to rub circles into his hand, distracting him long enough to pick it up. My heart gave an audible reaction as I realized that I had won this round. "Cat, I have something to say to you, too," he said back.

"Whatever you want," I said, hiding my surprise as I slowly put my thumb over the button. _Oh, my God,_ I thought, _he _is _in love with me. Oh, God, no…_

"That's…that's very sweet and all, but I really think it's the lack of sleep talking. We'd only ever work in a…platonic relationship. You're just not my type. We're just not compatible that way."

"Whatever you…huh?" I was so surprised that I pressed down on the button. _Hard._

"You heard what I…" And suddenly, he stopped talking and his face looked very peaceful. "Cat," he said, sounding bitter and angry, yet very calm.

"I'm sorry, Robbie," I said sadly.

"You tricked me," he said.

"You needed to be tricked," I said back, tears forming in my eyes. "I'm sorry, I just didn't want you to suffer anymore…"

"You're awful," he said, his eyes starting to drift shut. "You're absolutely awful." He barely slurred out the last word before he slipped into a slumber.

I gently pried off his glasses, setting them on the table. "Good night, sleepyhead," I said gently, then kissed his forehead. I laid down next to him, getting myself comfortable. Thoughts were rushing through my head a mile a minute.

_It had been an act,_ I tried to tell myself. _I was just trying to get him to take the damn medicine that he was too damn stubborn to take himself. You're not really that close to him. It's just that you needed him to feel better. Those weren't butterflies in your stomach, that was just guilt at tricking him. It was nothing but guilt…_

Then why did I feel so heartbroken when he had said we weren't compatible?

* * *

><p><strong>OKAY I SWEAR THERE WILL BE CABBIE. Anyway, um. Hi. FanFiction's been glitch lately, that's why my last update was 'late' (even though I posted it on the right date…). Nothing to see here, although I will let you know that I slightly modified when Victorious takes place, just so the Harry Potter thing makes sense. So um…yeah. I'll admit I added the Harry Potter references at first because I'm a big Potterhead ;) But then they bonded over it and it ended up pushing the plot so that was good. The link won't take you anywhere since FF disabled links for the time being, but later I'll add a link to my film script? Review?<strong>

**- Hatter of Madness**


	7. Maybe Real Near By

The next morning I was up before Robbie, having been unable to sleep normally the night before. I still felt extreme guilt for leading him on…_if_ that's what I was doing.

Before he woke up, I climbed back into the wheelchair, having fell asleep in his bed again. Judging from what a nurse said the day before, so long as everything went according to plan, he would be moved into a regular hospital room that day, outside of the ICU. I was grateful, because I had come to realize I was staying with him due to the fact that I didn't like him being in the ICU alone. If anyone and everyone (well, with hospital consent) could come visit him, his dependency on me would dwindle.

And after the previous night, I was sure that what little dependency he had, if he ever had any, was now next to none.

I tried pushing it out of my mind, but I found it very difficult. As I sat in the wheelchair, waiting for him to get up, my mind shifted focus from an English essay I had due to the movie that Tori and Andre and the others were probably going to see that day to…the kiss.

The two kisses, actually. I had kissed him twice last night. I tried to remind myself that neither was on the lips. Therefore, neither _truly_ counted as a kiss. I knew that seemed a bit of an obscure way to see it…but it was the only way I could bring myself back to sanity. I was starting to go insane in my mind just thinking about the way I had deceived Robbie. He had seemed so vulnerable…and somehow even though _he _had told me we wouldn't work, I felt the guilt because I knew it had been wrong. I had taken advantage of him…

No, it wasn't wrong. He was in pain. It was the only way he would ever take the medicine that Siobhan and I knew he needed. I wasn't sure why but he had this huge self image he felt he had to protect, at the very least while I was around.

I could hear him mumbling my name in his sleep. I rolled my eyes. _Oh, brother,_ I thought. _Sure, Robbie. We're not compatible._

I realized the trouble when a nurse came in.

"Beauty rest, huh?" she said, smiling upon seeing him.

I nodded.

"You sure your parents don't miss you?"

I tried to crack a smile. Then…

"Mmmm…" Robbie moaned in his sleep.

The nurse looked over at him. "Do you think he needs some morphine?" I fought the sudden impulse to laugh, because by then I of course knew how impossible it would be to get him to relent. In fact, I didn't even know where the button was. It was with the next word that my heart skipped a beat.

"Cat…"

My eyes got wide suddenly. The nurse froze. "What did he say?"

"Uh…" I tried to stammer, but at that point, I found it very hard to deny.

"He must be very close to you," the nurse said, giving me a look that plainly said that she had some suspicions as to the true nature of the relationship between Robbie and I. "When he wakes up, just make sure he calls for us," she said, giving a look at the heart monitor. "He seems ready to be moved into a regular room, but we'll need to assess some more once he wakes up."

With that, she turned quickly on her heel and the doors shut behind her.

I breathed a heavy sigh of relief. One crisis had been averted. _Stupid Robbie,_ I thought. Part of it was anger from the night before. Part was…I wasn't so sure.

A few minutes later, he finally woke up and I filled him in on the fact that he had been muttering my name in his sleep. "It's not a big deal," he tried to tell me.

I narrowed my eyes. "'Not a big deal'? Do you even _know _how much trouble we both could have gotten into? What do you think the doctors and nurses would have said about you calling out for _your cousin _in your sleep? Because correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think cousins do that kind of stuff in real life, do they? _Do they?_"

"Geez, sorry, Cat."

I sighed. I had come close to yelling at him, and all he had done was something completely out of his control. It wasn't his fault that he had been saying my name in my sleep. Besides, I couldn't sort out why but I was still bitter and angry from the night before, when he said that the most we should ever pursue was a 'platonic relationship'. "Whatever," I grumbled.

"Why is it such a big deal to you?"

"Well, I know the entire country is all divided on the ideas of what's a 'wholesome' marriage and whatnot, but I'm pretty sure that even the most radical of them wouldn't agree to someone kissing their cousin." I folded my arms over my chest, slumping back in the wheelchair, then said, "The nurse said to push the call button when you woke up."

He did, and less than a minute later a nurse was in the room, and seconds later Doctor William stood before us, too. "Good morning, Robbie," he said happily. I tried to smile at him, though my blood was boiling. He, too, looked at the heart monitor and some charts, then took out a stethoscope and listened to the sounds of Robbie's chest. He then put it against his back and did the same. He then smiled. "I think you're ready for a regular hospital room."

I helped Robbie put all of his stuff into his suitcase and backpack. There wasn't much; clothes, mainly, and his Harry Potter stuff. He also had a PearPhone and a laptop; I had only ever recalled him using the latter once since he was hospitalized. It easily fit in his backpack.

"The elevator will be a little bit crowded with the bed and everything," Doctor William told me, "but you're welcome to come and see him in a few minutes. We'll be moving him to room 218 on the second floor."

I smiled, already feeling my anger dissolve. It was so stupid that I was getting upset, since it was over just such a trivial reason. Robbie asked if I would bring Rex when I came up and I agreed. When they started taking him out of the room, it hit me that it felt like they were taking my best friend away. Where, I didn't really know. It was as though I was all alone.

Due to the chills going up and down my spine, I didn't stay much longer in the ICU. I went to the doors, struggling to open them with my wheelchair, and went to the elevator, pressing the button with the down arrow. The waiting seemed to go on forever, but finally the doors slid open and I got on.

There were three other people on the elevator, of whom gave me mixed looks. I hadn't showered in a while, to busy making sure that Robbie was okay, so I probably didn't smell like a spring field. What little makeup I had been wearing just a few days prior had run off and my clothes were wrinkled from being slept in. There was also the fact that I was in a hospital wheelchair—implying that I was a patient there—and was roaming around by myself. I could see one woman, out of the corner of my eye, give me weird glances at the top of my head. I assumed she was looking at my bright red hair.

The doors slid open again and a man held the door for me while I wheeled myself down the hall to room 218. When I got there, the nurse was just leaving and Doctor William was setting everything up.

"There you are," he said, then smiled when I came in. "Everything seems good." With that, he left the room.

We worked that morning and into the afternoon on patching things up between us. I apologized for my antics the night before and my bad attitude that morning; he apologized for being so short with me. I couldn't help but notice that neither of us mentioned what he had said about the status of our relationship.

Later that day, Allison arrived after she was dropped off from school. She was very close to Robbie, too, and hadn't seen him with a while. It was after she had been there for about half an hour that I realized it was a Friday and that by now, the rest of our friends at school were probably off seeing the movie they had made plans to go and see.

I was sort of getting bored (after all, this was a special thing for Robbie to see his sister and it wasn't exactly my place to interrupt), when she took out her phone and said, "When do you want me to let in the others?"

Both Robbie and I frowned. "What others?" he asked.

She smiled and said, "I'll take that as _now._" With the word 'now', she pressed a button on her phone.

Seconds later, the hospital doors opened and in came Tori, Trina, Jade, Beck, Andre, and Sinjin. I wasn't sure why Sinjin had come, but Robbie's face broke into the biggest smile I had ever seen. "What are you guys doing here?" he asked.

"Yeah, aren't you supposed to be seeing a movie?" I asked.

"Well, I _do _hate hospitals," Trina complained. "They're so depressing."

Jade suddenly looked up. "I love hospitals."

Ignoring her, Trina continued, "But we were just so concerned about you that we decided to come pay you a visit before we went." She gave Sinjin a weird look. "And Sinjin snuck into my car when I wasn't looking."

"Trina, you're such a liar," Tori said. "Well—except about Sinjin." She turned to me and said, "Andre and I decided to come down here, Beck agreed, Jade agreed because Beck agreed and because of the depressing factor, and Trina came because I promised her we can go shopping later."

"You tricked me," Trina grumbled. "You said that we were _still _going to see the movie."

"The movie can wait," Andre said, turning to Robbie. "Sup, man? How you doing?"

Robbie looked embarrassed. "I'm alright. I just can't believe you guys are all here."

"Are you kidding?" Beck said, sounding about as surprised as I felt. "You're one of our best friends and we were worried about you. We would have been here sooner but Tori said that Cat said you couldn't have visitors yet."

It was like Robbie just remembered that I was in the room as he fought furiously to hide a blush. Only I seemed to pick up on the fact that it was about me; the others mistook it for embarrassment at the unexpected visit. "Well, uh," he said, trying to change the subject, "this is my sister, Allison…"

We went around the room introducing everyone. Robbie threatened Sinjin when he got too close to her. The conversation lasts for a long time. "We hope you can get back to school soon," Andre says after a while of just talking about how the food at the hospital is (which is not very good, as I learned from sharing meals with Robbie day in and day out. I had started to hope that I never needed to go the hospital in just that respect).

"Yeah, Sikowitz said he won't announce what the musical is until you get back," Trina griped.

"Trina!" Tori said in shock.

We all laughed, and for once, Robbie's laugh was not accompanied by a look of absolute pain and torture. It was finally like he was enjoying himself, and I, too, had to hide a smile. I was so happy to see this side of him after the previous night and that morning.

"Well, what play _do _you think it'll be?" Jade asked, finally saying something that didn't make me feel depressed.

None of us had any idea. "It'll probably be something really well known," Beck said. "I mean, the fall show didn't do so well, did it?"

"_That _was a nightmare," I agreed. Though the play was amazing and wonderfully cast, it was seen by a very small audience. Usually, Hollywood Arts would lose money for paying for fees for the production but gain it back in ticket sales, but for that play, only fifty dollars was paid back. It was a very small audience for some nights, though there was a larger attendance on the last night. Still, it wasn't enough for us to not have a hole burned in our metaphorical pocket.

"I guess it wasn't really all that popular," Tori agreed, looking grim.

"Well, whatever the next play is, we better hope that Sikowitz picks a good one," Andre said, and everyone agreed.

"Did somebody say Sikowitz?" our batty teacher said, walking into the room.

"Sikowitz?" Robbie said, sitting up even straighter in surprise. I had to admit that his presence shocked even me. Everyone else looked like they hadn't known he was coming either, so I was thankful that he had taken time to come in on his own accord.

"Hello, Robbie," he said, handing him a paper. "I graded your scripts," he explained. For Sikowitz's class, we had to write a short script for a play. It could be about anything, so long as it was school appropriate. On the top of Robbie's paper was the score. I could see in big red letters a 95, as Sikowitz really didn't believe in giving a perfect score on anything. The only exceptions to that rule were when we were being graded on participation alone. "Cat, here's yours, too," he said, handing me mine. I had a similar score, a 93. I was surprised since my script was sort of a half hearted job.

We were showing everyone our finished products as a way of praising ourselves, when Sikowitz said, "Now…I've heard that some of you may be wanting to know what our spring musical is going to be." We fell silent immediately. "I was going to wait until you got back to school, Robbie, but since the majority of us are here right now, I thought it would be okay to let everyone know."

I didn't know about anyone else, but the waiting was killing me. It seemed that Sikowitz knew. Of course, he continued on, not announcing the name of the play, "I think that we all agree our fall performance was a flop. No harm there, we all know that it was wonderful but funding was not the best it could be. For the spring piece, I feel we should do something well known and that has a large cast. The play I have chosen will gather a large audience of both young and old and I feel we have the chance to sell out some performances. That is why I wanted to announce the name of the play we're doing is…"

I was starting to tense up; the man knew how to keep people in suspense. I held my breath, waiting for him to say…

"Annie."

There was momentary silence, then Cat said, "That play's a tragedy, right?" I honestly whether sure she was serious or not.

"Well…I suppose some parts are a bit of…"

"Not interested," Jade said. This was met with mixed results.

Soon, in small groups, everyone started to leave until it was just Robbie, Allison, and I. The smile on his face was so contagious that Allison and I cracked grins as well. Soon, Siobhan showed up for the night to take her daughter home, but she agreed to stay a while before that. We quickly filled her in on the rest of the afternoon when Robbie said, "Cat…you'd make a good Annie."

I laughed. "There's a joke."

"Oh, I agree," Siobhan said.

"Me, too," Allison agreed.

"What, just because I'm short, innocent, and have red hair?" I said, snickering, though I wouldn't object if Sikowitz wanted me to play Annie. I hadn't ever had a lead in one of his plays before, and it would have been fun to be able to do it for once.

"That, and you can act, and sing," Robbie said. The next words out of his mouth shocked me: "I mean, Tori's always stealing your spotlight. Sure, she can sing, but so can you."

I blushed furiously. "Oh, hush," I said.

Soon, Siobhan and Allison went home and we were alone again. My mom had demanded that I go home that night, so it was only a matter of time before she got there. I had looked up songs from the musical on my PearPhone and we had listened to them when suddenly Robbie told me to pause it. "What?" I asked, automatically in a panic.

He relaxed. "Sing to me," he asked.

I frowned. "Are you still hung up on the thing about me and Tori?"

He smiled. "No. I want to hear your voice before I go to sleep."

I bit my lip in an attempt to keep myself from smiling. Thinking, I started to sing _Take A Hint_ but he stopped me and said, "No. Sing a song from Annie_._"

Truth be told, I only knew a small number of the songs in the musical, so I started to open my mouth, spitting out the words to one of the only songs from the film I knew that wasn't completely depressing.

"_Maybe far away, or maybe real near by…he may be pouring her coffee, she may be straightening his tie…_"

* * *

><p><strong>I'm sorry that this wasn't posted yesterday, my Internet wasn't working that great yesterday. There was also the fact that this week has been chaotic. I will absolutely try my best to update again tomorrow so that I don't deviate <em>too<em> much from my schedule. Um this was a chapter full of suck… But hopefully you'll be nice? xD I SWEAR Cabbie will happen. Just trust me. Also my school is doing Annie as our musical atm which is why I chose it for this. So um yay review.**

**- Hatter of Madness**


	8. I'd Like To Thank You Robbie Shapiro

My mother and I have an estranged relationship. We always got along because we had to, but if you asked if we enjoyed every second we spent together, that would bring an entirely different response.

We looked just like each other, the only real differences being the obvious difference in hair color and the fact that I had a single dimple in my left cheek while my mother had a cleft chin. Other than that, we were almost identical, right down to our big brown eyes and vivacious smiles.

When she picked me up from the hospital, I burst into tears. I was just under so much stress that I couldn't contain myself anymore. She decided she was going to "treat me". Her idea of a treat?

IHOP.

We were sitting in IHOP at ten o'clock at night, and I was staring at the menu. Obviously she had forgotten that I was a vegan, because most of the items on the menu were something that I couldn't eat due to my dietary needs. I wasn't that hungry, anyway—even though I had bypassed hospital food dinner—so when the waitress came, a girl with exhaustion almost carved into her face (ironically named Hope), I just ordered a bowl of fruit, with iced tea to drink. My mom got coffee with the hearty ham and cheese omelet. I cried into my iced tea when it came.

"What's wrong, Kitty Cat?" my mom asked.

I grimaced at the pet name (no pun intended). She had been calling me that since I was four years old, maybe earlier. Ignoring the name, I shook my head, going back to playing with my fingernail polish for what was about the fifth time in the last week. There was hardly anything left, just small squares on my thumbs and index fingers.

She noticed, saying, "You need a manicure."

Don't ask why, but I burst into tears again. I finally came clean about _everything_: About the weird looks and hushed voices, ditching school to go see Robbie, fracturing my ankle, spending the entire week pretending to be his cousin, becoming a Harry Potter fan, wishing Robbie would just man up and accept his medicine, the way his eyes lit up when our friends came in. The kiss I had planted on him to get him to relent.

She didn't seem fazed at all by the kiss, telling me that there was nothing wrong with that. In the end, it had been beneficial for Robbie, which was the good thing.

I shook my head. "But Mom, he told me we should just stay friends," I whimpered. I had never gotten myself to admit that maybe there was more than friendship between us, but I was definitely saying it then. "And I don't want to be just friends anymore."

"Ah, the friend zone," she said. My mom may be…well, a mom, but she was definitely on top of the times. "Why don't you just tell Robbie how you feel?"

"Because he was just sliced open the other day," I said. "And I don't think it'd be good to stress him out after his surgery because he's still recovering." That was all I said about the matter for a little while, because the waitress had arrived with our food. I picked at my dinner. My stomach was empty, but I just couldn't get myself to eat.

"Just get flirty," was my mom's advice.

I flashed her the famous 'mothers-don't-know-anything-about-high-school-relationships-and-dating-nowadays' look as I continued to pick at my dinner.

When I left the hospital they had given me a pair of crutches, and I still hadn't grown used to using them. I had a hard time staying stable on them, getting frustrated when we went to the car. My mom offered to braid my hair in a fishtail braid when we got home, and she wanted to watch a movie with me, too. Basically, my mom wanted to pull an all-nighter with me.

I made a note to myself that if I got to spend the night with Robbie again, we should do the same, then a lump formed in my throat. _Robbie_. I was supposed to be angry with him, right? That was the only thing I could do when he didn't want to be with me in 'that way'.

We got home and I told my mom I needed to take a shower. She fought a smile and told me it was probably a good idea. I agreed, feeling absolutely awful. I needed to put on some makeup the next day, since it was eleven at night, and change my clothes, not to mention freshen myself up. My hair, which was in a ponytail, was a complete disaster. I wondered how Robbie had put up with me while we were together in the hospital. Had I imagined the way Siobhan wrinkled her nose when she walked in on the conversation I had had with Robbie about Harry Potter?

I turned the water on full blast at the hottest I could stand it. Almost immediately, my skin turned red and I hopped from foot to foot, trying to distract myself by singing Annie songs. I knew four, it turned out. There was _Maybe,_ which I had sang to Robbie; _Tomorrow, _but honestly, who didn't; _Hard Knock Life_, which was ironic since my life was being basically the epitome of the song; and _We'd Like to Thank You Herbert Hoover_, which I only knew since my dad used to sing it to me as a lullaby. I settled for that, thinking that I needed a return to simpler times.

The water was so scorching that when I reached for my color protecting shampoo, I writhed in pain at the intense heat that I knocked everything over. I was so beyond angry.

_You need to snap out of it,_ I tried to tell myself. _Calm down._

_Why should I calm down?_ I asked.

I was having a conversation with myself. If that wasn't a big enough hint that something was seriously, seriously wrong, I didn't know what was.

My brother started to pound on the bathroom door as well as shout at me, but I ignored him, singing louder. "_We'd like to thank you, Herbert Hoover, for really showing us the way…we'd like to thank you, Herbert Hoover, you made us what we are today…_"

I wondered if the song was as annoying when I was a kid as it was then.

Finally, I got out of the shower, toweled off, and slipped into my pink bathrobe, putting my wet hair up in my towel. There was lot of condensation on the mirror so I drew in an angry face, sticking its tongue out, for my brother. I then pointed at it and wrote, "You should strive to be this pretty from now on!" I was feeling absolutely terrible, both as a person and just in general.

The bathroom door opened, a wave of fog hitting my brother square in the face. "Gee, sis," he muttered, walking in, "not like I had way too much water before I went to bed."

"TMI, bro," I snapped back, going to my bedroom, slamming the door behind me and starting to pound on the wall out of frustration. I needed to know what was wrong with me, and fast. There was no way that this kind of odd behavior could continue. Quickly I stripped out of my robe and into my pajamas, sitting on the floor and feeling a surge of emotions wash over me. I could feel tears sting my eyes, wiping them away furiously with the back of my hand.

I was not going to watch a movie with my mom, or have her fishtail braid my hair. No, I was going to sit in my room and feel sorry for myself, and try to figure out how to get myself back on track. And fast. There was no way I was going back to school two days later like _that_, not when I was an emotional wreck.

No, 'wreck' didn't even _begin_ to cover it. I was a roller coaster that turned into a wreck and set on fire. That was a better analogy than 'wreck', wasn't it?

Finally, I managed to blink my tears away and got off the floor, going to my closet and rummaging through it. I was becoming a new person, I decided. But since I was supposed to see Robbie later in the weekend, that new person was going to show up on Monday. I was going to become a completely different person, and, well…let's see what Robbie thought about _that_.

"I might not even audition for Annie," I said out loud, laughing to myself. Really, what I should have been thinking was, _Watch out, we got a badass over here._

I finally got into bed and fell asleep around one A.M., but I had another bad dream. This time it revolved around Trina and Robbie, and how he was in love with her and said, "Sorry Cat, we work best in a _platonic_ _relationship_." I woke up crying, then fought my way back to sleep.

The next dream I had was another nightmare. Robbie was screaming at me, telling me that I was good for nothing and wondering why we were even friends. He called me ugly.

That time I woke screaming in a cold sweat, looking around the room and down at my clock. It was only three in the morning. I groaned, throwing my blankets off of me and bounding to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face. Tears were streaming down my face, and the harder I cried, the more noise escaped my lips. I was surprised that neither my mother nor brother noticed the noise I was making, or the sound of the running water.

I turned the tap off, then slid on the floor, my face went and my eyes now on fire. What was wrong with me? I didn't need Robbie to be my boyfriend. I didn't need a boyfriend at all. It was silly making such a fuss over it. Leaning forward, I buried my eyes in my knees. It was painful, but distracted myself from other things.

I sat there like that for a very long time, then got up off the floor and paced for a bit. Robbie's words from my dream reverberated for a long time in my head, his words that I was ugly and good for nothing, his thoughts that I was a horrible person and that he was wasting his time being my friend. I knew it was just a dream. In reality, he had never wanted me to leave his side that week at the hospital. But there was something with _me _that was off, and I couldn't figure out what it was.

_Of course you know what it is, _I tried to tell myself. _You're _in love _with him._

Admitting it felt nice. Admitting that there was definitely something going on with me was a good feeling, and I tried to tell myself it was bringing me one step closer to resolving the issues I was having, both with Robbie and myself. But then…why did it make me so miserable?

Answer: I didn't deserve Robbie, and we both knew it.

I sank to my knees, feeling—instead of the self-hatred and pity I had had minutes before—nothing. I was numb. My head was pounding, yes, and my knees heart from falling, but I was numb when it came to all emotion. I was a clean slate.

What I did next was impulse.

Triple checking that I crept quietly like a mouse and made no noise, I snuck into the kitchen and started to rifle in the drawers, jumping at small noises and the _tink_ of the china. Finally my fingers closed on what I was looking for. Grabbing hold of it and gently shutting the drawer quietly, I crept back to the bathroom. I took what seemed like half steps, making sure that I didn't make any noise or drop the spoon in my hand.

I locked the door then, coming up with an idea, pulled a towel out of the basket on the floor and placing it in front of the toilet. Then I sat up on my knees, pulled my hair back into a loose ponytail, and leaning forward.

_This is ridiculous, _I tried to tell myself.

But you'll be beautiful.

Deciding that beauty was a much better feeling than the anguish I had been experiencing for what seemed like years (but in fact was less than a week), I shoved the spoon down my throat.

The last thing I thought of before I was sick? _I'd like to thank you Robbie Shapiro, you made me what I am today_…__

* * *

><p><strong>CLIFFHANGER I KNOW YOU LOVE ME. Anyway I'm just going to stop promising that there'll be Cabbie since now I sound like a broken record. Just remember that yes, this is a romance story between Cat and Robbie, so therefore there will be romance between Cat and Robbie (yes! Who'd of thunk?). I feel like a hick saying that ._. Anyway it would mean a lot to me if one, you didn't kill me, and two, if you reviewed. So um yeah have a good, bright sunshiny day :D Sorry this was so short, late in the day, and a suck.<strong>

**- Hatter of Madness**


	9. We've Got Us High

I woke up on Sunday, my throat on fire. Immediately I remembered why; the day before my mom had taken me shopping. Seeing how most of the things there were for girls that were a size zero, I hated myself and was not shy about showing my mom about how I felt. I wondered for a moment if she knew what I had been doing, but she had said nothing about it if she did.

When I woke up, the rays of sunshine outside my window hit me directly in the face, and I squinted in the sunlight. For once, I hated living in Hollywood, since it seemed to be always sunny. It almost felt like I had a hangover, and my breath was just as horrible as if I _had _been drunk. I didn't want to move, but I knew I had to. Robbie and I had made a promise that if I was feeling well enough (he meant my ankle, but I took it to mean my…_problem_) I would go visit him before I went back to school.

It was going to feel weird going back to school, I reflected, being out after almost a week. I was trying to see if I could get out for another day. I had already decided that a major change of myself was in order, but I wasn't quite ready to show everyone just yet.

I woke up and showered quickly, then washed my mouth out with mouthwash. After getting dressed and doing something with my hair, which just didn't want to cooperate, I went to the kitchen and found my mom there, reading the newspaper and humming to herself.

"Good morning, Kitty Cat," she greeted.

I fought the temptation to roll my eyes. "Morning," I mumbled.

She ruffled my hair, and I snapped away. I was trying to pull myself away from everyone, everyone except Robbie. I knew that if I tried to shy away from him, he would know something was wrong. "So, Annie, huh?" she asked, in reference to our school play.

I nodded, not answering her out loud. I went to the cabinets and got a glass so I could have some milk, totally aware that it wasn't good for my vocal chords…especially after what I had been through over the weekend. I assumed that my mother noted that I had skipped breakfast, since her eyes kept flicking to the bowl of fruit on the table, as though inviting me to eat something. Instead, I ignored her and tried to focus on just draining my glass as quickly as possible. The sooner I got my visit with Robbie over, the better.

"You gonna audition?"

I nodded again.

"I hope you do. I'd really like to see you have a big part in something."

It was mean, but her enthusiasm was driving me nuts. I wanted to yell at her to shut up.

"Sure you don't want something to eat, Kitty Cat?"

The name. I clenched my fists under the table, fighting hard to hide my irritation.

"No, Mother."

She frowned. "_Mother?_"

Ignoring her, I said, "Are you going to take me to the hospital soon?"

She laughed. "I've never seen someone so antsy to go to a hospital before in my life."

My hands were throbbing, I had my fists clenched so tight. "And I was wondering if we could stop at the grocery store or something. I thought I'd surprise him with some stuff." I was really doing this so I could hide the things that I was getting ready to change about myself. There was no need to worry him about it when he already had so many stresses in his life, what with his surgery and the situation with his family…

"Sounds good. Let me just change my clothes and we'll go."

"Kay, kay."

I waited for her, stepping into some shoes as I did. I knew this was the last time I was going to see him in a normal sort of way, since after this…everything was going to change.

She finally came downstairs and I got into the car, coming up with a checklist of things I needed. My mother smiled at me the entire car ride. "What?" I finally snapped in an insensitive tone.

She ignored it. "I'm just so glad you have someone you're so close to, that's all."

I tried to smile back, but really, her words couldn't have made me feel worse. I _was _Robbie's best friend, after all, and yet I was keeping something from him. I was mad at him just because he didn't want to be my boyfriend. I was being so, so selfish…and yet was taking my anger out on _him._ Who was it that had been totally rash and taken advantage of him to get him to take medicine? Who was destroying their own body just because he didn't like me in any way other than friendship?

I fought back tears as my mom came to a stop in front of the grocery store, then handed me two bills. I didn't look at the amount; knowing her, she had given me forty dollars.

She looked concerned as I hobbled out on my crutches. I still was not very sure of myself on them, but it was steadier than trying to walk. Wondering how it was going to work, I tottered inside and started looking around. Before I knew it, I had gotten a ton of junk food, a basket, a hypoallergenic teddy bear, a get well soon card, and some roses. I had noticed that his mother had put some in a vase by his bed, but they had been taken away when they started to wilt.

I was getting near the cards and I was trying to reach some stickers, since I wanted to decorate it before I gave it to him. They were just out of my reach, and my injury kept me from doing what I'd normally do by jumping up and grabbing them. A lady came over and started to look at cards, too, giving me an odd look.

Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. "Excuse me, ma'am," I said, and she narrowed her eyes at me. That simple look immediately made me think, _I've seen this woman before…_ "Can you help me out? I can't reach those?"

She snapped, "_Why _should _I _help _you?_"

_Hurtful! _I immediately thought, widening my eyes in surprise. "Well, it's just that I'm injured and I can't get it myself, so I was just wondering…"

"That's too bad, isn't it?" she said, grabbing a congratulatory card and walking away. I started to follow her on my crutches.

"Who do you think you are?" I snapped when I caught up to her.

She looked me up and down, from my toes to my face and back again, and said, "The stupid head."

My mouth fell open in horror. This was the woman who had caused me to fall off my bike and was the reason I fractured my ankle in the first place. Hatred immediately started to well up inside me, my hands clenching into fists again on the handles of my crutches. "I'm sorry about that," I said, "but in case you can't tell, thanks to _you,_ I have a fractured ankle, so I was just hoping you could help me with _one little thing…_"

"Oh, for the love of Pete!" she quipped back, then went back to the cards and pulling down a sheet of stickers, shoving them in my face. She stalked off; I frowned at her retreating figure. As she walked away I mumbled to myself, "Stupid head."

* * *

><p>We arrived at the hospital later. I got out, having put the finishing touches on my care package, and my mom got out with me, offering to carry it up for me so I could work on just moving on my crutches by myself. With a joint effort, we got to the second floor.<p>

Robbie's face lit up when he saw me; the guilt came rushing back almost immediately. I forced one back at him. "Hey, Cat," he said. "Hi, Ms. Valentine."

"Hi, Robbie," my mother greeted. "You feeling alright?"

"Doing better now that I'm starting to get healthier," he said.

"And I still got a creepy guy putting his hand up my shirt, thanks for asking," Rex said as I sat down in a chair. I fought desperately to hide a laugh.

"You're good at that," my mom said. "How long have you been a ventriloquist, Robbie?"

"Get with the times, Mom," I said back. "It's been a while."

"Oh, silly me," she said, shaking her head. "Well, Cat brought this for you. I'll be here to pick her up in a few hours." She kissed the top of my head. "Here's hoping you get better!" And with that, she shut the door.

"Thank God she's gone," I muttered. Maybe it was wrong of me to be short with Robbie for no reason, but my family was a different story. We were usually angry with each other no matter what.

Robbie laughed. "Your mom's nice," he said. "Not overbearing like my mother."

"You've _got _to be kidding me," I said back. "Your mother, overbearing? She's nothing like my mom. Earlier today she was concerned just because I didn't want to eat an apple." _That's right, Cat, _the voice in my head said to me. _Just conveniently leave out _why _you didn't want the apple… It's not important anyway, right?_

"Well, maybe your mother doesn't take the prize for Parent of the Year, but she sure as _hell _is better than my dad, any day."

"Can't argue with that," I said, trying to change the subject. "Hey, will you be back at school in time to audition for Annie? I think I know someone who'd make a good Daddy Warbucks."

He smiled but shook his head. "My mom emailed Sikowitz this morning. He's going to come here for my audition, or my house if I'm out of here by then. In any case, I'll still be able to audition. And you and I both know that Daddy Warbucks and I are not exactly synonymous."

"Well, _you _told me that I could be Annie. If you can dream big, so can I."

"Shut up."

I started giggling, then suddenly remembered, "Oh, I brought you something!" I happily got up on my crutches, crossing the room unsteadily and sticking them on a chair, then taking my usual seat on Robbie's bed. He had completely gone back to ignoring Rex and I picked up the care package off the floor, putting it on his pull out table.

"So, you brought me food? You _do _know we get fed here, right?" he said, looking through it, then reaching the flowers and smiled. "Isn't it usually the guy that brings the girl flowers?"

I laughed. "Well, it's a special occasion," I said. "Besides, you get fed hospital food. _This _is food from the outside." I giggled at the lame line I had just said. "I couldn't decide whether to get you, so I got you two different bouquets." I couldn't help but notice how (falsely) cheery I sounded. One bouquet was made of purple irises; the other, red roses. I set both bouquets in the now empty vase.

He raised his eyebrows at the roses. "Eh, Cat?"

"Hmm?"

"Roses? Really?"

He was thinking of the other night. "I'll have you know that roses aren't just for love, they also symbolize passion and beauty. _I _was thinking of passion. How passionate our friendship is."

"That is probably the cheesiest thing you've ever said," he said, then looked over the box of brownies I bought. "Ah, _real _food."

"Or processed, but you know…same difference."

He laughed, opening the box and eating a brownie, almost immediately getting a look of relief on his face…from what, I didn't know.

"Geez, Robbie, have a foodgasm on me, why don't you?"

"Shut the hell up."

We started to laugh again. It felt nice sitting like this as friends again. For once, I could swallow my self-pity and hatred at the world that I was feeling. I didn't feel the need to give Robbie the cold shoulder, either. In fact, life was pretty decent in that moment.

"Has anyone other than your mom and Allison visited? Besides Sikowitz and everyone else?"

He frowned. I knew I had asked the wrong question. _Stupid, stupid Cat…_ "That kind of defeats the purpose of asking the first question, you know," he said, then thought for a second and said, "No. Just you guys. I really wish…" He trailed off. There was no need to tell me what he was going to say.

He really wished his dad would visit.

I sighed. Without thinking, I opened my mouth again, and music started to come out. "_She's got you high and you don't even know yet…she's got you high and you don't even know yet. The sun's in the sky, it's warming up your bare legs…you can't deny you're looking for the sunset._"

With a weak voice, he started to join me. "_She's got you high and you don't even know yet. She's got you high and you don't even know yet. It's the search for the time before it leaves without you. Have you lost your mind or has she taken all of yours too? What's this about? I figured love would shine through. We've lost romance, this world has turned to see through. Open your mind, believe it's going to come to…romance alive, and hope she's going to tell you._"

"You remembered," he whispered. This was _our _song, not as a couple, since we were obviously not together (and as far as Robbie was concerned, we never would be). It was a song that we both liked and identified with our friendship, even though it was about love. I had played it for him when he was coming out of surgery.

"Of course I did," I said. How could I forget?

I noticed how close our faces were. It was almost like he wanted to kiss me, and his eyes started to drift shut, as though he really _did _want to. I started to do the same, but the sound of the door opening startled us both. The figure standing in the doorway nearly made my heart stop; out of the corner of my eye, Robbie's mouth dropped open in shock. It took a lot of will power to keep me from doing the same.

Because in the doorway was Aaron Shapiro, Robbie's father.

* * *

><p><strong>This chapter as usual was a suck. I threw it together last minute because I took a really long nap today. During my nap I had this bizarre-o dream involving my friend Lucy, she was eaten by a cat when she magically became an inch tall o.O Then somehow she got out of the cat and was back at her normal size then fell off a building and everyone was mad at me because she has brittle bone disease (in real life she does). So um yeah anyway. Review please, too tired to write anything else here. :**

**- Hatter of Madness**


	10. Money Can't Buy Dad's Love

I didn't get the nerve to dare to look at Robbie. What was I supposed to do? I was just as shocked as he was.

For background, let me explain Robbie's dad. He and his mother had gotten a divorce when Robbie was twelve and Allison was almost eight. That was also about the time that Allison bought Rex for Robbie, because the divorce really shook him up. It was, according to Allison, a great pick-me-up for him, and that he used Rex's humor as an outlet, almost, for the emotional pain and turmoil he was going through. Sometimes I wondered if that was his tactic at the time of his surgery, too, but I didn't want to ask, just in case. But in any case, following the divorce Aaron and Siobhan got into a huge debate over custody. Most of the time in these arguments, they were taken to Sylvia's house so that she could look after them.

Aaron stood in the doorway, staring us down, and Robbie and I stared back. Even Rex didn't interject anything in edgewise. I personally was frozen to the spot; Aaron Shapiro and I weren't exactly on the best of terms.

He finally stepped into the room, saying, "Hello, Robert."

Robbie was speechless for a while, then finally sputtered out, "H-hi, Dad."

"Catherine," he said to me. I didn't feel like reminding him that my name was Cat. I was too frightened to really say anything; I was so afraid he would lash out at me. Instead, I just nodded.

"This is awkward," Rex said, finally defusing the tension that was very apparent in the room. Had the situation not been so surprising or serious, I might have laughed. Instead, I stared forward, not saying anything.

"Ah, still have Rex, I see," he said, coming all the way into the room and awkwardly sitting on a chair. Apart from the beeping of the heart monitor, I might have thought we were in a business meeting, rather than spending time with Robbie's father. The tension in the room could have been cut with a knife. I tried not to look him in the eye.

"Yeah. Uh…no offense, or anything, but why are you here?"

He looked grim, took a moment, and said, "I heard about your little…problem."

Robbie looked confused, saying exactly what I was trying to avoid saying myself. "That happened almost a week ago and you're just getting here?"

"Well, I can explain."

"Please do."

I couldn't remember Robbie being so cold in my entire life, and I had seen him angry with me a Prome when he thought I had been making up a date named Tug. _That_ was not a thrilling time, since he was never angry. But he was definitely angry _then;_ I didn't even have an adjective that was descriptive enough for when Mr. Shapiro came in. He even folded his arms across his chest, setting down Rex—not a good sign.

"At my house, I was getting a new phone installed. They came exactly a week ago to set it up. Unfortunately, there was a lot of problems with the services. Your mother tried to call me, but of course, due to the phone lines, she couldn't. She would have called me at work, but I was away on business until recently. I didn't even know anything was wrong until she dropped off Allison the other day."

"Oh?" I could tell that he was reaching the point where he was torn between forgiveness and disbelief.

His father nodded. "When she walked in, I asked her why she was there, and she asked if Si—if your mother had called. I had to tell her my phone wasn't quite working up to par, so she filled me in on everything. I called your mother at work the next day and we talked a lot about what was going on. I cancelled most of my appointments today just to see you, Robert."

Robbie's hand was clenched in a fist when his dad came in, then he slowly unclenched it. "Robbie," he reminded.

"Oh, my mistake."

"So what'd Mom think when she finally got ahold of you?" Now it seemed like he was wavering between the two feelings—it was like he felt like he should trust him, but was having a difficult time doing so.

"Your mother had left quite a few angry voicemails for me, things such as, 'Call me _now_,' or 'I'd think you'd care about your own son at a time like this'. One even went as far as 'Aaron, if you don't answer me by tomorrow I'm never letting you see your children ever again'. That was immediately after your sister told me what was going on." He looked almost apologetic for his years of neglect. His eyes fell on me. "Are you Robbie's girlfriend?"

"No," I said, feeling myself flush red. It was the first thing I had said since he came in the room and I knew I was _not _making a good first impression, even though we had met before. I cut him some slack on that, since I had dyed my hair since then. "We've met before," I said.

"We have?"

I was definitely embarrassed but said, "I used to have bleach blonde hair then."

Realization and recognition washed over his face. "Oh, yes." He took in my red hair—maybe he had heard about what play we were doing, I was never sure—and said, "Is Miss Hannigan looking for you?" Robbie and I both stared at him for a long time—him in disbelief that his father could be lighthearted, me because I didn't know if I should have been offended or laughed—and Aaron finally said, "It was a joke. I'll have to say, though, I'm not too fond of this habit of yours. Dying your hair is a horrible thing to get into. You could be bald one day if you keep doing that. Why, I have a woman that I work with that dyes her hair all sorts of colors and if you looked at it now, it's almost like…" He trailed off. "Well, in any case, you'll want to start taking better care of yourself."

_Who are you, _my _father?_ I thought, literally biting my tongue to keep from lashing out.

"So, you finally decided to acknowledge my existence?" Robbie said, moving the conversation back to where it started. I fought the temptation to call _his father _a 'stupid head'. It seemed like I was having a harder and harder time containing myself that day than I had ever had before.

"Listen, Rober—ie. Rob_bie_," he said, correcting himself last second. "I know these last few years must have been hard on you—emotionally draining, if you will."

"Yeah, they sure have," he said, rubbing his wrist and sounding far more bitter than he had been at the beginning of the conversation.

"And I'm sure your sister is probably very similar, correct?"

"I wouldn't know," Robbie said coldly; it seemed as though it were his mission to make his dad take pity on him an Allison. "Ally and I don't really talk about you outside of your house." _Ouch,_ I thought.

Aaron ignored him, continuing, "I know that I have no one to blame for that but myself. I was not the best father in your upbringing prior to the divorce, and even that fell on the back burner following the separation. I assure you, though, that once I heard that you were not in the best help, I had a talk with myself." That was when it was hardest for me not to laugh. Up until that point, he had been all business (well, minus the 'Miss Hannigan' comment), and then, he was letting himself go a bit and everything. "I had said that if you—my only son—were in deteriorating health, that should have been a sign to me from some higher power that I need to pay better attention to the two of you—you and your sister, that is."

There was no need to clarify; we both got the message that I was not to be included in this.

"It was definitely a wake-up call, in any case. I got the message loud and clear, that I need to pay better attention to the two of you. So I said to myself that no matter what happens, maybe in this hospital or maybe at home, that I was not going to let the two of you be low priority to me anymore, because you're _not _low priority. You'll understand when you have children."

The look on Robbie's face told me clearly that he understood without having any children to speak of. He knew that family—or, at the very least, loved ones—was top priority in anyone's life…or that they should be. The fact that his father had tuned everyone out was upsetting. And it wasn't just to him, because I could feel the emotional strain that his absence put on the entire family. Siobhan was always worried about her children; Sylvia was left in charge of them more often than not, and out of desperation; Allison had become very withdrawn; and one of Robbie's only outlets for the entire experience was through his comedy.

There was a prolonged silence, then Robbie said, "So…you mean to tell me that my surgery made you realize how bad Ally and I must feel?"

He nodded. "That is correct."

"And you mean to tell me that you're going to try to be a better parent? To the both of us?"

He nodded again. "Yes, Robbie."

"Starting today?"

Another nod.

"No ifs, ands, or buts about it?"

A nod, pause, then, "No strings attached, absolutely no conditions."

"So you'll go see the school play?"

"Yes, Robbie."

"And the Annual Showcase?"

"Yes, Robbie."

"And high school graduation? College?"

"Yes and yes, Robbie."

"And my wedding day?"

He frowned. "I didn't realize you were engaged."

Robbie turned a light shade of red as he said, "Just checking." He paused, then said, "Well, I guess I'm grateful for that." Then he cracked the smallest and weakest smile I had ever seen. I smiled, too, however, because at the very least, it was the beginning of a new hope for the little family.

Aaron stood abruptly. "I'm sorry to cut this meeting short, but…"

The smile vanished as quickly as it came. "So, you're already applying conditions, so much for that, huh?"

"I wouldn't be going, but I had made promises with Allison to see a movie with her. A documentary or something to that effect, about some singer named Justin Viever?"

I fought laughter again, then Aaron said and said, "I just wanted to let you to know…" The next words seemed almost like they were the hardest thing he would ever say. "I love you, son."

And with that, he left the room.

* * *

><p>I left not long after that, getting home and just having time to run to my room before I burst into tears. I was just so, so happy, for both Robbie and Allison. I was so happy to see the progress they were making when it came to family bonds. The anger I had that morning had completely melted away. I found it hard to be angry at anyone.<p>

At one point, Aaron Shapiro was not shy about telling his son that he was 'an embarrassment to the family' or anything similar, and now, they were starting to patch up the holes and strains in their relationship. The same went for Allison. I had heard myself some of the cruel things that were said about the youngest Shapiro, and it was not pretty.

Soon, though, I remembered my promise to myself, then I went to my closet and looked at it. I took in a deep breath, saying to myself, _I have to do this._

Anything that was close to a bright shade—whether it be neon blue or even peach—I threw to the floor, then sat down. I had a flashlight with the bottom on the ground, so that the light faced up and I could see what I was doing. I fumbled around in the dark for what I was looking for, then finally my hand fell on the blue pair of scissors.

I smiled to myself. I hadn't used this pair of scissors since the last time I had bought a blouse that I had picked out myself. The clothes my mother had bought me just a day prior were shoved under my bed, dejected. I was never going to let them be seen out of my bedroom, and for several reasons.

I had brought with me a handheld mirror, propping it up against the closet door. It was now getting close to ten o'clock at night. Both my mother and brother were asleep at that point, so I had no chance of being disturbed, but didn't leave the closet for privacy, just in case. Looking in the mirror, I picked up the scissors, holding it up to my hair, which I hadn't cut in almost four years. I couldn't bear to look, then shut my eyes.

_Snip._

* * *

><p><strong>Yay everyone's happy yay yay yay. All I'm going to say here is that I will have next to no time starting Monday : I absolutely HATE swimming but get forced into it every year because my dad's a swim coach, and our season starts on Monday. I was hoping to not have to go, though, because usually they have what's called 'preseason' for the new swimmers. Turns out our entire league's not doing that this year Of course my schoolwork comes top priority, but I'll see if I can continue to update this. I'm hoping that this weekend I can finish this and then just publish new chapters every two days. In any case, I'm trying my best to stay on top of this, but if I miss a few updates, that's why. Please review.**

**- Hatter of Madness**


	11. Because of Me

The next morning, to my surprise, thick black clouds were in the sky. A quick check of the weather told me that the skies were supposed to clear up but luckily, there would be next to no chance of rain. Deciding to risk it, I went to my closet (still unstable on my crutches), and grabbed a gray tank top, a pair of short denim shorts, and a plain black hoodie. I sat down on the bed, getting dressed and wincing as I pulled my shorts on. My ankle was still causing me pain.

The hardest thing for me was maneuvering my way down the stairs. I had to almost literally throw my crutches down the stairs, which my mother wasn't happy about, then go down facing the banister. I had to keep both hands on it at all times just to be sure that I didn't slip.

I finally sat at the table, where my brother was already inspecting a carton of milk. "Hey, bro," I said, reaching out for a box of cereal, completely forgetting what had caused this huge change in myself in the first place.

He looked up at me and nearly doubled back in surprise. "Hey, sis," he said back, "I hate to break it to you, but it typically doesn't rain inside."

"Ha, ha," I said, pouring some Cheerio's into a bowl in front of me. It was true that I had my hood pulled over my head. I was trying to hide the fact that I had cropped my hair very, very short the night before. It was going to prove difficult, but I wanted to hide it from my family as long as possible. If they found out what I had done…

"Freak," he muttered. I stuck my tongue out at him and he snorted. "Real mature, sis."

"Thanks," I said back. "Pass the milk."

* * *

><p>Mom loaded me into the car. My brother was in community college and therefore, his classes didn't start until later in the day. When she started the car, she, too, took in my hood but said nothing of it. Instead, she chose to comment on the color of my jacket and shoes. "Black?"<p>

I nodded. "Jade and I have a scene in Sikowitz's class today." _Lie number one._

"Ah," she said in understanding. "So for a change of pace, you're the one in black?"

My patience with her was growing thinner by the day. I didn't respond to her question, instead taking to staring out the window. My crutches lay on the floor underneath my backpack. If we weren't related, I probably would have used one of them as a weapon. I was shocked I even thought of it, but my patience with almost everyone was running out lately.

When I didn't respond, she said, "You know that I want what's best for you, right?"

"Of course." _Lie number two._ My mother, especially as of late, hardly ever showed that she cared for me. Maybe that was why Robbie and I got along so well, since we both had similar experiences with our families.

"So I just wanted to say I'm very concerned about you, especially lately. I know what's been happening to Robbie is terrible, sweetie, but a normal person shouldn't want to spend so much time at a hospital. Is there something you're not telling me?"

"No, Mom." This was the first truthful thing I had said. Yes, something was wrong with me, just not in the way that she was asking about.

"Are you sure?"

"Mmm hmm."

There was a prolonged silence. "Are you getting enough to eat?"

I frowned. "Why do you ask?"

"You just seem, well, a little bit thinner than usual. I mean, you've always been a thin girl, Cat, but it just seems a bit more—how do I put this delicately…_pronounced _lately. That's all."

"There's nothing wrong with me there, Mom." _Lie number three._

"Alright, just wanted to be sure." She dropped me off in front of the school. "Are you sure you don't need any help?" she asked when I unbuckled my seat belt, getting ready to get out of the car and start my day.

Not trusting myself to answer, I stood (sort of) on my crutches, throwing my backpack onto my back, and said over my shoulder, "Have a good day, Mom."

I hobbled into school, going to my locker and struggling to stay upright on my crutches. As soon as I got my locker open, I pulled my hood off, preparing to braid my hair, then realizing how short it was. I fought back a sigh, instead brushing the short layers. That was the most that I could do anyway. Maybe if I fought long enough, I could force it into a miserable excuse of a ponytail.

I could hear Andre talking to Beck about something, then both of them stopped talking. They must have gotten a good look at me…or at my back. "I'll see you later," Beck said. His footsteps started to retreat down the hallway, then Andre came up to me slowly.

"Hey, Cat," he said.

I turned. "Morning, Andre." I fought to bring a smile to my face. He stared at my (now short) red locks. "Like the hair? I did it last night." Then I laughed. "No, really, _I _did it last night."

"You did this yourself?" he asked.

"Yeah, isn't it great?" I said back, hoping that my falsely cheery voice was convincing.

"Why?" was all he said.

I attempted to shrug while still keeping the crutches standing. If one or both fell over, I had no idea how I'd retrieve it. "Time for a change, I guess. Before all this drama with Robbie started, I was considering dying it blue, but what with Annie coming up, I thought it'd be best to stay a ginger." I laughed again, hoping to be convincing.

Instead, he considered to stare at my hair, then down at my face. "You need help with your bag?" he finally asked.

That time, my smile was genuine. "Yeah, that'd be great!" I said happily. "I mean, only if you want to…"

He extended his hand for my bag and I gave it to him, turning so that we could go to class.

"How long are you going to be a cripple?" he asked.

I frowned. "I don't think that's exactly politically correct," I said back, then thought. "I don't know, a few weeks. It didn't seem too good when I was at the hospital with Robbie. The nurse said I fractured it, and those usually take six to eight weeks, so long as I stay off my feet. Why?"

"Oh, well, the gang and I were talking, and with the exception of Trina, it seems like everyone agrees you'd make a pretty good Annie in the play, but only if you'll be back on your feet by then."

I blushed. "Oh, Andre, I really wouldn't be a good fit," I said.

"I don't think so. I mean, you're both spunky, maybe if a bit down on your luck, and redheads."

"Of course, the redhead thing. I really think that's why everyone wants me to get that part. My mom agreed, too, that I should play her. I really do think it's because of my hair. Maybe I _should _have dyed it blue."

Andre laughed. "No, the red is great."

I know he didn't outright say it, but I couldn't help but think that when he said 'the red', he was really referring to me.

* * *

><p>Annie auditions were after school. Tori and I were waiting together.<p>

"Are you sure you're up to this?" she asked, looking at my leg. I was thankful for the change, however; the entire day, I had been getting stares at my hair, rather than my crutches.

"So long as Sikowitz thinks I am," I said. "I probably won't even get a big part, anyway. You're a way better singer and actress than I am." That wasn't much of a lie. Even though I had been accepted at a prestigious performing arts high school, I had always second guessed myself, especially when it came to my stage presence.

"Even if I am pretty decent at singing, I'm no actress," Tori said. "Besides, you're not half bad yourself, Cat." She paused, looking over her script. Trina had been in her audition for a very long time. "Something up with you lately?"

"No," I said. _Lie number four. _"And I wish everyone would stop asking me that." That part wasn't a lie; I was sick of the questions, mainly because I felt so bad lying to the people I was close to. The next time I saw Robbie, I wanted to come clean to him. About _everything._

"Well, you've just seemed a little off since what happened with Robbie," she said. "Other than just your leg, I mean. I've noticed that in this past week, you haven't been getting much sleep, have you? You have really dark circles under your eyes," she added. "I mean, _wicked _dark. And you seem like you haven't been eating well, am I correct?" Before I could answer, she continued, "Then it seems like you're taking a page from Jade's book with this new…_thing_ you've got going on."

"What do you…"

"The hair, the jacket, the shirt, the shoes." She suddenly grabbed one of my hands and I yanked it away as cautiously as I could, not wanting to topple over. "The nails," she added. I had taken to biting them lately and the night before had even painted them black, too, but with white hearts in the center. Even if I had turned over a new leaf, I still wanted to keep a part of myself.

"I'm _fine._" _Lie number five._

"Okay, I just was worried that maybe…" She suddenly stopped talking, looking like she'd said too much.

I turned to her, confused and a bit worried myself. "You were worried that what?"

"Oh, nothing. I wouldn't want to upset you before your audition."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Tori Vega."

"Cat, please…"

"Tell me what's up," I demanded.

"I just didn't want to say anything about what's going on with Robbie…" And again, her response to her own words made me think that she wasn't just talking about his recent surgery or hospital stay. No, judging from her tone and the look on her face, there was definitely something else there.

"What's going on with Robbie?"

* * *

><p><strong>Cue dramatic music…now. Okay if you want to kill me after the next few chapters, I SINCERELY DO NOT BLAME YOU. Um yeah. Things are about to get VERY dramatic. So um yeah, I hope I still have time to continue this x_x It would mean the world to me, because I'm sure someone here has to be a Potterhead, if anyone would read my HP story <em>Evil's Daughter, <em>since IMO it's starting to get interesting, although I'm not begging, lol. I'm tired lol. OH AND I'M FINALLY SEEING THE HUNGER GAMES TOMORROW SO HAPPY YAY. Okay um anyway. Byeeee.**

**- Hatter of Madness**


	12. Somebody That I Used to Know

Tori bit her lip nervously. I took note of her apprehension and grew nervous myself. _I don't like where this is going._

"Well, uh, I don't know if I should upset you before your audition," she said quickly, making me more was also a little too late to worry about upsetting me, but I didn't say anything of the sort.

"Tori," I said, shifting my weight slightly so that I was leaning on one crutch, holding the other out for her to see. "I don't know if you're seeing what I'm seeing, but I'm pretty sure that if I _just right,_ and in the right spot…well, I'm sure I can cause some damage to you, too." I gave her as close to an evil look as I could muster, then said, in a voice so sinister that it almost chilled the air, "You pick."

"Uh…well, don't blame me for what you're about to hear," she said.

I waited rather impatiently.

"Well…are you sure you don't know already?"

"_Tori._"

"Right, sorry." She took a deep breath. "Do you know about Robbie's…problem?"

It was absolutely awful, but the next words out of my mouth were, "Which one?"

For a moment it appeared that her frown would falter and she would give in to a smile, but otherwise her stoic face did not change a bit. "Well, his…little problem." For a split second I thought she meant Rex and started to open my mouth, but then she interjected, "I don't mean his little friend, either." I closed my mouth, confusion taking over. It must have been apparent on my face, because she said, "I know that this probably won't make sense, but…you've spent a lot of time with Robbie lately, you know. Being in the hospital with him and all." Not knowing what she was going on about, I simply nodded. "Have you noticed something about him lately that wasn't quite right? That seemed off?"

"You mean other than him being sliced open and hooked up to different kinds of wires and machines?" I asked, fighting the temptation to roll my eyes. "Because now that you mention it, I think I _did_ notice something like that…"

"You're a comedian, Cat. Seriously, you are." Her humor was rather dry; _she _didn't fight off the temptation to do an eye roll in my direction. "I think we _all _noticed that one already."

"So, what are you talking about?" I tried to pretend not to be too worried. Nothing could be that bad, right?

She didn't buy into my approach, saying, "It's really serious. I just thought…well, I know he didn't say anything to you before about it, but I thought at the hospital he might have let something slip to you."

"So it's a secret," I guessed.

Her expression became grim. "You could say that." She bit her lip again, a habit I noticed she had been doing more and more lately. "I feel bad telling you, really."

I sighed. "Tori, your problem is you're too nice. I'm sure whatever's going on…"

Before I had time to finish my speech, Tori blurted out, "Robbie needs mental help."

I froze in my tracks, blinking in surprise. "Come again?" was all I could think of to blurt out.

"Well, I suppose he does, anyway. That's just my opinion though. It's just…oh, I'll just tell you!" She paused, took several deep breaths, and started off again. "Everything started off fine, I guess. I mean, as fine as things could be for a freak with a puppet…oh, don't give me that look, I'm giving you the nice story!" she said, blushing. However, for whatever reason, I was personally offended when she called Robbie a 'freak'. And how _dare _she call Rex a…

"Anyway." Another bit lip. "Well, you know the situation with his parents."

I nodded. "They're split up."

"Exactly. And that's really taken a toll on him and his sister."

"Uh huh. He always has to act like this big hero to Allison all the time. As a bravado, sort of." This much was true, I supposed. He always seemed to be indistinguishable in front of his little sister. I assumed it was so that she had someone to look up to.

Tori nodded. "But, like everyone else, he has things that he goes through, too, and like a lot of us…he keeps all of his emotions pent up inside of him." She suddenly sounded a lot like a therapist. If the situation weren't so serious, I might have cracked a smile or giggled some. Instead, I did not lose face.

"Uh huh…" I was following along less and less as this went on.

"And for people in situations like these, there's really only one…_release _for them."

I stared at her, again allowing confusion to cross my face. "I'm afraid I'm not following you," I managed to say after trying to work out what she was saying to me. "What are you trying to say?"

She sighed. "I don't want to have to spell it out for you," she said. "But imagine what happens when you sort of…make a mistake when you're shaving."

"Simple: You cut yours…" I stopped in the middle of the word. "You don't mean to say…?"

The way that she didn't respond told me exactly what I needed to know. She avoided meeting my gaze and acted as though her mouth were glued shut.

I hadn't even taken notice of how long Trina had been in her audition, I was so upset. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I tried to blink them away. There was _no way,_ no way that Robbie would be doing such a thing. I mean, we were best friends, right? And weren't best friends supposed to tell each other everything?

Then again, I wasn't being completely honest with him either. He didn't know about my sudden haircut, attitude change, way of thinking…my new _lifestyle_, for want of a better word. Was that how he was going to feel the next time he saw me? Was he going to be upset with me, too? Or embrace it, because it was who I was, or rather, who I decided to be? I was torn between a rock and a hard place, trying to figure out which was right in the situation I was in.

Tori put an arm around me; struggling to stay standing, I snapped away from her. "Cat, I'm sorry…" she said.

Why was she apologizing? It wasn't her fault. But all of my pent up anger came out, and without being even remotely aware of it, I hit her, square in the shoulder. All of her breath came out quickly; I hadn't realized I had punched hard. She staggered back, then looked up at me in surprise.

Before I had time to make another risky move, Trina came out of Sikowitz's office, fluffed her hair dramatically, and told me it was my turn to audition. I turned roughly away from her sister and went into the room as quickly as my crutches would allow, not even flinching when the door slammed behind me.

The next time I saw Robbie—because I _definitely _planned on seeing him—I knew I had to come clean, and have a talking to with him…if it was the last thing I ever did.

* * *

><p><strong>Hope no one kills me but if you want to go ahead. I'm EXHAUSTED because I'm getting sick jsdlfjdsljf ugh. Sorry this was short, but I had a hard time dragging it out any longer. I saw the Hunger Games yesterday, twas amazing. Uh…nothing else to see here, so review, I guess?<strong>

**- Hatter of Madness**


	13. It's Not Too Late to Apologize

I tossed and turned that night for many reasons. First was coming to face the facts that Robbie didn't trust me. Why else would Tori have known about his little secret and I didn't? Thinking more about it, I came to wonder… Did anyone _else _know? Was I _really _the last person to find out?

Second, I couldn't shake the fact that I needed to come clean to him about what was going on with me. I was a liar, too. I hadn't been completely honest with him the night I gave him a surprise attack with the morphine button, and I certainly was not being honest when it came to my own little (destructive) secret, of which I had not relented, though I knew that I should.

And third, I had gotten into a fight—_a real fight_—with Tori that day, over something that wasn't even her fault.

There was also the searing pain in my ankle and the throbbing of my entire leg, but I was sure that was something to expect, given my injury. I had tried listening to both my mother and Siobhan by elevating it, but in my sleep, it was much more uncomfortable than curling up under my sheets, trying to see what position worked and didn't work.

Finally, my eyes shut and I fell back to an uneasy sleep. When I woke up, I was more tired than I was when I went to bed.

Almost literally rolling out of bed, I uneasily made my way down the stairs, using my typical morning ritual of throwing my crutches down before me, then trying not to strain my injury any further as I went down the stairs sideways. When I finally arrived downstairs, my mother got the first good look at me that she had had in almost two days—after I had arrived home the day before, I bolted to my room and refused to open the door to her for no circumstances.

"Kitty Cat!" she said in surprise. "What happened to your…"

I had almost forgotten chopping off all of my long, red hair. I didn't see how; the day before I had caught myself reaching up to twirl a strand around my fingers only to find that most of it was gone. When I heard her words, I didn't lose face; instead, I grimaced at her. "What's it to you?" I said, sitting down.

She blinked at me, and my brother too got a look at my hair, then laughed. "Who cut it, your Goth friend with the obsession with scissors?"

The only correct way to describe my response is to say that I growled at him, turning back to my breakfast. I could feel their stares and after a while it was too much. "_What?_"

"Cat, maybe you should stay home today," my mother said.

I frowned. "Why?"

"You look a little red," she said, coming up to me and feeling my forehead. I turned away roughly. "I'm just worried about you!" she said.

"I _know,_ and I'm _fine,_" I said, eating my Cheerio's some more. "I swear, I cut my hair and all of you act like I have a death wish or something." I rolled my eyes. "What time should I be ready for school?"

"Whenever," my mom said, then left the room quickly. As soon as the door into the hallway shut, my brother turned to me, an angry look in his eye.

My brother is not exactly someone that gets angry easy. He could be a little insane, and he could definitely be a nuisance, but angry? That just wasn't him. I had seen him angry was when Robbie had said he wasn't romantically interested in me. We may have a strained relationship, but when that happened, he looked ready to kill in my defense. I wasn't sure how he found out—Mom must have told him—but it was still comforting that he loved me that much that he would do that for me. But being angry _at _me, not _for_ me… That was different.

"Is there a problem, bro?" I asked offhandedly.

"This isn't cool, Cat," he said. I frowned. Our relationship was such that we almost never used our first names, just 'bro' and 'sis'. The fact that he was using my real name scared me.

"What's not cool, bro?"

He frowned, too. "You know what I'm talking about. This little thing that's going on with you and Mom—the thing where you act like you hate her, for no explicable reason—it's got to stop right now." He looked about ready to bite me. "She doesn't like it, and I don't, either. Whatever's stopping us from being as close to a loving family as possible needs to go."

"It's no big deal," I said, brushing it off.

"It is _too_ a big deal!" he snapped. I fought not to double back in surprise, instead just raising my eyebrow at him over my cereal. "_You look me in the eye when I'm talking to you._" I set my spoon down and gave him a dangerous look. "I know about your eating disorder, Cat." I almost choked on what little food was in my mouth. "And I can't say that I approve. Anyway, ever since this little deal with Robbie happened, what with him in the hospital and breaking your heart or whatever, but no offense or anything, you've become the biggest bitch I have ever seen."

There were a million and one thoughts running through my head, so I finally stuttered out, "How do you know about my eating disorder?" Not exactly the best option, I'll admit.

He rolled his eyes as though it were obvious. "I know girls can spend a lifetime in the bathroom, but there's no reason for them to be sick on purpose other than that, or if they swallowed a huge handful of rat poison. And I think we both agree that you're smarter than to do that."

"I thought I hid that well," I said. Another stupid decision on my part.

"You shouldn't be hiding _anything!_" he snapped. "Cat, we're friends, right? I mean, we're brother and sister, sure, but we're friends. You can trust me, and you should trust Mom, too. But for whatever reason, Mom suddenly seems to be the Anti-Christ to you. Why, I don't know. What caused it, I don't know. But it _really _upsets her."

Unable to think of anything else, I chose the most callous thing I could say. "I'd prefer to call her Lord Voldemort than the Anti-Christ, really."

He sighed. "I give up with you. The next time you make Mom cry, don't come whining to me!" He started to rise, then immediately, my reflexes kicked in.

"No, wait!" He froze in his tracks; I sighed heavily. "I'll apologize to her later, okay? But I need some advice. With a friend."

Slowly he sat down again. "What?" It was as though he wasn't entirely sure whether to trust me again or not. I hoped I would gain his trust back.

"Let's just say…I have a friend."

"And by friend, you mean…?"

"_A friend._" I glared at him and he nodded. "I have a friend, and this friend has an addiction similar to mine…you know, my problem with my, eh…diet. But this friend isn't exactly starving themselves or anything, you know. It's like that, but it's something else entirely." He wrinkled his brow in confusion. Reflecting on what I had said, I didn't blame him.

"I'm not following you. Say that again, in English this time?"

I sighed. "I have a friend. Yes, a friend. And this friend is doing something destructive to themselves, too, but I don't know how to address the problem with them, because I wasn't exactly supposed to find out. An outside source told me. Anyway, I'm terrified for this person, because we're such good friends, but if they find out I know their secret, they'll be really, really mad at me, and I don't _want_ them to be mad at me. Any advice?"

He paused, thinking it over. "I have some, but it'd help if I knew what the problem with your friend is."

"I can't tell you that," I said sadly, imagining what Robbie must have been doing to himself and wondering how I was so stupid that I never noticed. Maybe he did it somewhere I couldn't see? Or what if—though I doubted it—Tori was lying to me? I supposed it was possible.

"Why not?"

"Because it's personal."

He sighed again. "Cat, if it's as bad as you're making it out to be, then you should tell me what it is. You trust me, right?" I nodded. "You love me?" I nodded again. "And you really care about this friend?" And again. "Then you should tell me what's bothering the two of you, so that I know _how _to help you. Both of us know that you'll never go to Mom with this stuff, and I want to help in any way possible, okay?"

I paused, then nodded a fourth time. "Do I have to tell you who it is?"

"Absolutely not."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded too. "Completely anonymous, if you want."

I breathed a sigh of relief. "Well, this friend…well, uh, I don't know how to say it."

"Just do it before I turn forty, or before you're late for school, whichever comes first."

I had completely forgotten about school, but I said, "My friend…they cut themselves."

He paused, taking it in, then finally let out an, "Ah, I see." There was a prolonged silence for a long time, then he said, "Well, I guess the first step would be to say something like, 'Listen, I know you didn't exactly want me to know, but I heard from someone that blah, blah, blah'. And then you two can talk it out—how it makes you nervous and how you're just looking out for them, you know."

I nodded, getting ready to stand, before he interjected, "And Cat?" I paused again. "Promise me this isn't you it's about?"

I came dangerously close to cracking a smile, but fought against it, since it wouldn't help my case. "I swear it isn't."

"Good. That stuff is dangerous and you're already doing enough damage to your body as it is. Oh, and promise me that _that _will stop in the near future?" I didn't say anything. "Cat, please promise you _you'll _get help, too." I bit my lip. He came up to me and grabbed me by my arms. "Cat. I'm doing this because I care, not because I'm trying to be mean. _Please tell me this will stop._"

I turned away, thinking, then nodded hesitantly and said in a weak voice, "I promise."

"Good." He hugged me, in a way that made me feel more secure than I had in a long time. It reminded me of how things were, long before Robbie got sick and everything just became a huge mess. Before I spent half of my time in a hospital and before I fractured my ankle… Before Robbie told me he wasn't in love with me, and never would be.

"I love you, kid," he said.

"Love you, too," I said as I shoved the last thought out of my head, rushing to get ready for school. I managed to practically drag myself to the car on time, where my mom already sat behind the wheel. She was uncharacteristically quiet when I climbed in, then I looked down in embarrassment, twiddling my thumbs in my lap. It came out in less than a whisper, but I knew she heard and understood: "I'm sorry."

I could see her out of the corner of my eye, a smile spreading across her face. I wasn't sure if I was imagining the tears leaking out of her eyes, but I knew that things between us were starting to get better.

Now all I had to do was right things with Robbie.

* * *

><p><strong>Suck chapter WOOHOO. I'm cuttingdying my hair (for the first time!) on Friday, and tomorrow is my last day of school before spring break! :'D I'm so excited, I'm hoping I can finish this on spring break (at least the writing stage), but I have a ton of homework over the break This is what I get for being in A.P. Anyway, I'm still getting over being sick and today I was in unbearable pain that I had a hard time just moving. But I guess none of you really care. I'm going to celebrate spring break by SLEEPING IN~ Anyway, please review because it'd be nice?**

**- Hatter of Madness**


	14. Mad World

I paced, as best as one could on crutches, for a very long time before going into Robbie's hospital room. I had to brace myself for what I expected to see inside. It was silly, I tried to tell myself; whatever was on the other side of the door, it was still Robbie.

Finally I couldn't take it anymore and went inside. He was sitting there with Rex. Judging from the movie that lay on the table, Allison had just left; it was a Disney movie of some kind. I fought a smile, happy that the two of them were so close to one another. In my opinion, they had a perfect brother-sister relationship, with very little arguing. To me, Allison was the one thing I was sure he loved.

"Hey, Cat," he said when he saw me. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. _Tori _has _to be lying. He seems so…_normal.

"Hey, Robbie," I said, coming all the way into the room. "How've you been?"

"Alright, I guess," he said, smiling. "I love what you did with your hair. Did you just cut it?"

I tried to hide my face; I was embarrassed. "Oh, I did it myself," I said, "but thanks!" I giggled, feeling like an idiot. "But really, how are things here?"

"I should be going home soon."

I immediately forgot what I had been worried about. "Robbie, that's great! When, do you know?"

"The doctors want to make sure that I'm absolutely alright first, but not too much longer, I don't think." His smile made me feel so much better. It was like a ray of sunshine in a world without hope. "Now, are you just gonna stand there or are you going to come see me?"

I started to laugh, hobbling into the room. I took a seat on the edge of his bed and said, "So, what do you want to do today?"

"Take my mind off this hospital. The sooner I'm out of here, the better."

I sighed. "Yeah, no kidding. Just visiting this place makes me feel bad about myself."

"Hey, how do you think I feel? For almost two weeks, I've lived here!"

"Shut up," I said back, my only defense. What was I _supposed _to say to that? He did argue an excellent point. "Wanna play a board game or something?"

He laughed. It didn't seem as painful an effort as it was just a week before. "A board game? _Really, _Cat?"

"Well, you want to take your mind off things, don't you? And we can talk…and stuff. You know, just have a good time?" _Talk and stuff? Have a good time? Oh my God, Cat, where do you come up with this stuff?_

Robbie didn't say anything, however, and started to look through the stuff his mother had brought him. "We have Life, Scrabble, Sorry, Monopoly, Clue…"

I thought through our options. Sure, the point was to get Robbie's mind off of things, but I wanted something I'd enjoy, too. The Game of Life would be too awkward between us, Scrabble was okay but making words works could prove difficult, Sorry and Monopoly I never understood, and Clue would never work, at least not between two people.

"How about Scrabble? If that's okay with you," I said quickly, turning a bit red.

"Sure," he said, and we started setting up the game play.

I'll admit I've never been good at Scrabble, but that day seemed to be an even more special occasion than usual. I was trying to make up words left and right, like when we had played just days earlier. The results were disastrous.

"Oh, come _on,_" he said.

"You _have_ to accept that one, at least!" I snapped.

"I know that 'squib' was a bit of a stretch, but what _is _a 'klodu'?"

"Simple," I said, coming up with something on the spot. "A synonym for a quyino." We started laughing, as a 'quyino' was another word I had made up, along with 'cyzp'. It seemed like when I was desperate I just grabbed a bunch of letters and put them in a random order, almost as though I wanted to see how many combinations I could make. The possibilities seemed to be endless. We were both getting a laugh out of it.

A part of me wished that Allison was there, so that we could have a real party. Or maybe my brother. Unlike me, who was very close to Robbie's sister (and now, by extension, his mother), he had never met my brother. I wasn't even sure if he knew what my mom looked like. My family situation at times could be very similar to his. I wondered if his grandmother had ever stopped by again, or if his dad had ever come back. I didn't ask this out loud, just to be on the safe side.

All the while, I kept trying my best to ignore the lighthearted feeling I had in my stomach. Later, I tried to ignore the feeling that something was wrong as well. I knew where both sensations came from, but I said nothing.

We talked about life for a long time. It was nice just being the two of us together. We caught up on life, listened to music some, and got into more arguments over the Scrabble game. While Robbie strictly stuck to Merriam-Webster's idea of what a 'word' was, I liked to deviate a bit from the list of accepted words. So much so that we got into a heated debate over a word that I _knew _had to exist.

"You cannot be seriously playing that!" he snapped.

"Why?" I said. I knew that some of my ideas of acceptable, playable words were questionable. Even I couldn't come up with a definition of a 'skel'. But I knew, in this one moment, that he _had _to be wrong.

"Then tell me, Red Haired Wonder, what a 'dwang' is."

I rolled my eyes. "You're _so _ignorant, because there is no such thing as '_a _dwang', since 'dwang' is a verb!"

"Ah, so you've deviated from your method of making up strictly nouns?" he said, almost sounding like a teacher. I fought the temptation to stick my whole fist in my mouth, imagining him teaching Sikowitz's classes for a day or two. Although, I will admit he was right in saying I had 'deviated'; I had claimed that all of the other fake words were nouns.

"That's because I'm not making up 'dwang'!"

"It sounds like something Andre would say if he had a fat lip."

I busted up laughing, almost doubling over with glee. The look on Robbie's face contented me. Still, I knew I was telling the truth, even if he didn't.

"What do you want from me?" I asked.

"A dictionary! I want proof that this…'_dwang_' is real."

"Fine!" I snapped, pulling out my PearPhone and going on the Internet, typing in _definition of dwang_. It took a while, but I finally got a result: "Dwang. Verb. To chafe, agonize, despair, or worry." And just to prove a point, I shove my phone under his nose. "Read it and weep."

He read it, shook his head, and said, "Whatever. We don't really have any more room on this game board. What do you say we go ahead and move onto something else? Sorry sound okay?"

I nodded, helping set up the game board while he put the Scrabble pieces away. I didn't remember how to play Sorry, but I figured I was going to find out soon enough. And regardless of whether I did or didn't, well…it was going to be an interesting game.

Robbie had fun making fun of my lack of skills for a while, until he noticed how often I pushed the sleeve of my shirt back onto my shoulder. "Is that shirt a little loose on you, Cat?" he asked as he moved his piece around the game board.

"Just a little bit," I said back, wishing the dang thing would just _stay put_. "I've shrunk or something," I said, trying to laugh.

He looked at me with a very concerned look on his face. "Cat, is something going on?" he asked. I suddenly remembered the conversation I had had about him with my brother, wondering how I was going to bring up the thing I had been worrying about when I couldn't even be honest with him about myself. _Do not mention what's wrong with you._

"No," I said, taking my turn next. "Why? What do you _think _is going on?" I said it in a voice that was a little too unsure, I realized. _Way to blow your cover, Cat._

He ran his fingers through my short hair, then allowed the backs of his fingers to run down my cheek and jawbone. Somehow I knew this was not supposed to be a loving gesture. "Your skin and hair are so dry, Cat."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Your voice is a little scratchy, too," he said, furrowing his brow. "Cat, are you sure…"

"I'm fine, okay? Let's just go back to the game, 'kay?"

"Cat," he said, in a way that made me feel so terrible for lying, and out of fear, I could feel myself getting closer and closer to a confession. I couldn't stand the way he seemed to feel; it looked like it was tearing him up inside. After all, he had been a great friend, and here I was, lying to him. Who was I to lie about a huge part of myself to him?

I blurted out, "I just wanted you to like me, Robbie." Then, I curled up into a ball and fought my tears.

"What, you thought that doing something like bulimia to yourself would make me like you?" I hid my surprise well. How did he know I was bulimic, specifically? Still, I sat there, rocking back and forth and wishing that things were better. _I'm such an idiot. _"Cat, I love you, you know that, regardless of whether or not you're a size two!"

I shouldn't have thought it, but I couldn't suppress the one glimmer of hope in the recesses of my mind: _He said he loves me._

"It's different than that, okay? You can never understand what it feels like!" I snapped. And it was true. He was never going to understand how I felt—I felt so alone, helpless, ugly… And not even him telling me he loved me would change that, because it would never be in the way that would fix things.

"Cat…"

"How long have you known?"

He sighed. "I don't know. I guess I figured it out on my own a while ago. I know the warning signs. I don't know if you know this, but Allison went through a phase, er, a time similar to this about a year ago and it was the God damn scariest thing I've ever seen. Promise me you won't do that to yourself." There was a long silence. I knew I couldn't agree to that. "Cat." Still nothing. "Just promise me you won't do that to your body." And again, my mouth was shut. "I can't believe you didn't tell me."

I snapped at that. "And _I _can't believe you didn't tell _me!_" I shouted; he doubled back in surprise.

"What are you talking about?"

"I know all about _your _dirty little secret, too, Robbie!" I said. "Tori told me all about it!"

"Told you all about _what?_"

"Oh, you know what I'm talking about! Don't even try to deny it, okay? I know." The last words tumbled out in a whisper; I was unable to raise my voice anymore as I felt my world falling apart. Tears started to slip out. It was like my worst nightmare, come true. Robbie, depressed? Me, my biggest secret exposed? It was like a horrible, horrible dream.

"Cat, don't…" he whispered back, seeing my tears.

I shook my head. "You scare me, Robbie. _This _scares me." He looked at me, then looked away, the shame written clearly on his face. I looked at the tubes on his arms, part of his skin underneath revealed. It was red and angry—obviously cuts. "This…this addiction, or whatever you want to call it. You have to stop." I was almost begging.

"I'll stop mine when you stop yours," he said.

"I can't believe you'd say that to me," I snapped.

"Well, _I _can't believe that Tori told you my secret, so I guess that's two of us in disbelief."

"I can't believe you'd put yourself—your health, hell, _your life!_—in danger! You could have died! Did you want that? What about Allison, what would she have done without you? She loves you! _I _love you!"

In that moment, I didn't care how he interpreted it, I just had to get it out there. Feeling rather vicious, I started to stand.

"Cat, what are you doing?" he asked, exasperated. It was obvious in his words that he didn't want me to leave. It almost seemed like he wanted to work everything out and try to explain himself, but I wouldn't have it.

"Calling my mom," I said, wiping away my tears as I picked up my crutches. "I'm going home."

* * *

><p><strong>Dramatic music. Sorry this is technically a day late, today has been hectic. Why? Because, for the first time in my life…I'm not a blonde anymore! :D And the change is drastic, too; I used to have dirty blonde hair but today I dyed it auburn and got it cut. Everyone says that they like it, it came out a lot redder than I was expecting but I like it, too. :3 Also in case you can't tell, the Cabbie-ness is getting ready to begin! :D So look out for that. Today was my first official day of spring break, ABOUT FREAKING TIME. Uh anyway. Sorry this chapter was a little in your face, but it was time to get the cat out of the bag. Please review?<strong>

**- Hatter of Madness**


	15. Butterfly, Fly Away

I stayed outside the hospital for a long time, waiting for my mom to come pick me up. I didn't know when she would be there, but I had stupidly left my phone at home and had no way of contacting her.

I could still feel tears running down my face, and I could also feel my mascara running with it. _Oh, God, why right now? _I thought. _Why now? Why me? Why Robbie?_ I could feel even more tears burning my eyes, which I tried to suppress to no avail.

Why hadn't Robbie told me? I had thought that something that vital would have been worthy of telling his best friend. That was when an idea hit me; maybe he was like me with my eating disorder and he was embarrassed of it. Even though I couldn't just get rid of the problem (because I had tried to, especially after my brother intervened), it ate me up inside, knowing the information I was hiding from my friends.

Still waiting for my mom, I crouched on the curb in front of the hospital and prayed that an ambulance didn't come, because I really wouldn't have time to move. I wondered if I was even in the right spot for an ambulance to crush me, either. My mind was a mess.

The doors to the hospital opened; I rested my head on my knees and ignored it. If it was a nurse or someone asking why I had run out, I'd ignore them. Or if they were telling me I had to leave, I would attack them, even if my only weapon was my crutches. I was sure with a proper swing and enough force I could…

"Hey, you," a quiet, familiar voice said.

I looked up, trying to hide my tears, but failing. His awkwardly handsome features contracted into a frown.

He sat next to me, which was easier said than done, since strictly speaking, he had an IV in him still. I avoided looking him in the eye. Instead, the two of us stared off into the horizon, not acknowledging he other person's presence.

When Robbie broke the silence, I nearly jumped off the ground from shock at the sudden noise. "You know, my chest's been hurting lately," he said. "A sharp, terrible pain, like a knife, right in the heart."

I frowned. "Have you talked to your doctor about it?" Even though I was supposed to be mad at him, my sense of worry went into overdrive at the thought of him having any kind of complication from his surgery. I was like a mother and he was like a small child.

He smiled. "No, I don't think they can prescribe anything for me." I wasn't following, which must have been apparent. His voice dropped very low, and my breath caught in my throat when he started to talk. "Because, well…you're all I need at the moment. Not more morphine or medical attention, I need _you_."

There was a poignant silence, in which I sat there, whimpering like an idiot and trying to stop fresh, hot tears from coming down my cheeks; failing miserably, all I could do was let my bottom lip quiver as I stared off into the distance. It was comforting having Robbie there, even if things were awkward and complicated. "Then why did you say the things you said?"

He sighed. "Cat, I don't understand a lot of things that come out of my mouth," he admitted. "But one thing I _know _I will never understand is why I said that to you. Really, just thinking back to it is so painful. You've been here for me when others shied away. You understand me better than anyone else in the entire world, even more than the others at Hollywood Arts or my little sister. You spent the better part of a week at this hospital with me, even though you didn't have to. And I love you for that."

"But why did you say…" I started again. He interrupted.

"To be honest…when you did the things you did, I was in pain. I couldn't think straight. And honestly…I thought you were the most beautiful thing in the world."

Tears sprang to my eyes again, and I made no attempt to hide them that time. Me, beautiful? There was no way, especially not to Robbie. I had long since abandoned trying to suppress the thoughts I had for him, the way my heart started to beat erratically every time he was near, the way he made my heart pound… He was Robbie Shapiro, and I loved every piece of him.

"When you started to…well, you know"—talking about that day, I realized, had to be as hard on Robbie as it was on me, as he couldn't even bring himself to say out loud that I had kissed him, even on the cheek—"all I could think was that maybe, I wasn't thinking straight again. I didn't think I was good enough for you, so I told you that we wouldn't work out in a romantic relationship to spare you the pain. But I guess one thing I hadn't thought about was the thought that maybe—just maybe—someone like you could ever love something like me."

My lips still quivering, I managed to work out, "Something?"

"A bushy haired, bespectacled, puppet wielding freak."

That hurt me personally; it felt like the same pain Robbie had described. "You aren't a freak," I said. "You're a prince."

He laughed. "Even I think we both agree that that's a bit of an exaggeration, Cat. I'm nowhere near being prince material. Maybe the court jester, but a prince?" I looked at the ground again, but he started talking once more. "I know I'm not perfect, Cat. I'm nowhere near as handsome as—say—Beck, and I'm not as much of a conversationalist as Andre."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," I said. "Because maybe you're not perfect in _that _aspect, but you're talented, and a great friend, and—and you are everything I've ever wanted to be," I finished, reaching up to push some stray hair out of his face. He looked at me in a way no one had ever looked at me before.

We must have been quite a sight, sitting in front of a hospital, me with my short (and horribly messy) red hair and a cast on my ankle; Robbie, wearing a hospital gown and with an IV drip stand next to him; and a pair of crutches in between the two of us. I was sure that I had make-up smeared over my face, too.

"You need to get yourself cleaned up," Robbie said, confirming my suspicions.

I ignored the statement, knowing fully well that I probably should have gone in and washed my face, instead saying, "You don't believe me."

He sighed. "I never said that."

"But I know it's true. I mean it, you're so talented. I never did pick up on how to throw my voice. And maybe you can't carry a conversation the way that Andre can, but talking to you makes me so unbelievably happy. And you introduced me to the best book and movie series ever," I said, cracking a grin and taking a second to recollect myself. "You're so brave, Robbie. Maybe not for yourself but for Allison. That's the best thing about you. And that's why I was so shocked when Tori told me about your, well—about your secret."

He looked down at the ground, then whispered, "I'm sorry I never told you."

"Don't be," I said in shock. "I just…" I sighed, shaking my head. "Never mind."

"No, what?"

"I just never thought that, well…that someone like you…"

"Oh." He picked up on the hint. I had never thought someone like Robbie would be hiding such a big part of himself from me, but he obviously was. Tori had made that loud and clear for me just a few days prior.

Slowly, he picked up his wrist and flipped it over; I turned away, afraid to see the red and angry streaks that I knew were there. "Cat," he said, in a firm but not overly demanding voice. "This is something you have to see." I shook my head in a childlike manner, shutting my eyes tight. I didn't want to see. He sighed. "Cat, there's something I want to tell you about. It's called the butterfly project."

"The butterfly project?" I said. I still didn't look.

"Yeah. It's this thing for people like…well, people like me. People who cut." Chills ran down my spine at the 'c' word. "Anytime you want to…to do _it_, you're supposed to draw a butterfly. You have to let it fade naturally, you can't scrub it off. And if you do _it _before it fades, then you 'killed' the butterfly. It's supposed to help people overcome this. And sometimes, people name their butterflies after people."

It seemed like such a childlike thing, but it sounded like it could inspire hope in people. Carefully, I opened one eye, looking down at Robbie's wrist.

The red marks I had predicted were definitely there, but there were two butterflies drawn on top of them. One of them was obviously Allison's handiwork, and in Robbie's handwriting underneath was the name '_Ally_'. Next to it, however, was a second drawing, one that I knew Robbie had done himself, what with it having one wing larger than the other and being a bit of a mess, but in a good way.

The name underneath that butterfly was '_Cat_'.

That was the day that I shared another kiss with Robbie Shapiro, this time a real one that we both anticipated. It awoke all of my senses; I felt alive for the first time and definitely in love.

That was also the day that I decided I was not letting him slip through my grasp again.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay this is the end of my outline but NOT the end of my story. I want to include two to three more chapters and then an epilogue, if possible. So leave some ideas in a review? I already have the epilogue perfectly planned, btw, so no help needed there. :) I would REALLY appreciate it if you'd leave tips for that. Sorry this is almost late (again) but it's Easter, you know. I hope you guys had a good day. Also, <strong>**I started writing a novel today, so I got sidetracked. ****:) Um uh yeah. And Raptor, yes, 'dwang' is really a word, lol ;p Microsoft Word doesn't recognize it, but it IS a word, I didn't believe it either lol. Um nothing else to see here so please review.**

**- Hatter of Madness**


	16. I Think I'm Falling For You

"See? Hospital food isn't _completely _terrible!" Robbie said.

I rolled my eyes. "It's _ice cream,_" I reminded, taking another bite of strawberry ice cream. "Of course it's gonna taste good. It's hard to mess up ice cream."

I had long since told my mom not to pick me up using a hospital pay phone. We were having an impromptu party, since we were told that Robbie would be discharged on Sunday. I was going to spend the night with him that night, then leave the next afternoon (which would be Saturday), and then visit him at home on Sunday once he had settled in. Sikowitz was going to post the cast list on Monday. He had never taken so long to cast a play before.

To celebrate the end of his stay, we were having a Harry Potter marathon, starting with the third (we had seen the first two already). The third was Robbie's favorite movie, and my favorite book. He had told me that the director of the film had made the film very dark, in a sense, and I was excited to watch it. We were going to try to pull an all-nighter, praying that we wouldn't be caught by the nurses, who would kill me for keeping Robbie awake. Strictly speaking, he wasn't even supposed to be having ice cream.

"True, true. Although Sinjin can sometimes…"

I cut him off, trying to ignore the chills going through my entire body. "Okay, thank you for that lovely visual."

He laughed. It almost brought tears to my eyes, thinking about how less than two weeks before, laughter was a painful effort for him, but now it came simply once again. His breathing was back to normal and his color was more like him, too. I remembered that when he was fresh out of surgery… He was eerily pale, even for him.

"I'm sorry for that," he said, not sounding at all sincere. "But you gotta admit, the boy has problems."

"More than you?" Rex interjected. My ice cream almost came right back out my nose.

"_Yes,_ Rex," Robbie said, "more than me."

"I don't know," Rex said, "I mean, you got butterflies on your arm, Harry Potter comin' out the wazoo…"

At that point, I _did _laugh. Robbie stared at me, then I said, "Well, he said 'wazoo'!" Laughter ensued following that as well. It felt odd coming out of my mouth; after I finished, a smile was on my face, happy that he had gotten into the habit of using Rex again. I had missed the little man.

"Yeah, he also said…"

"_You _said," I said pointedly, the ghost of my smile completely gone from my face. "You know that you control Rex. No offense or anything, but…"

He sighed. "Well, you still heard."

"You can't be so hard on yourself," I said, grabbing hold of his hand…something I hadn't done in a very long time. "You shouldn't make fun of the Butterfly Project, because I know how much it's helping you." I stared at him for a really long time, my breath catching in my throat. "When was the last time you…you know?"

"Before I was admitted," he said. "But Cat, I can explain…"

"See?" I snapped. "It's helping you…"

He put a finger to my lip, shushing me. I stared at him again, thinking about how just an hour beforehand, we had kissed…a real one that time. How it had felt so right, admitting that we were crazy about each other once and for all… Robbie had held me then, which I had been nervous about since he was still attached to his IV, and I was worried about his chest, and my ankle. But we had made it work, and ultimately the nurses ran out and started yelling at me, since it was supposedly my fault for dragging him out of his hospital room and making him exposed to 'indecent air', and _blah, blah, blah… _

"There's something you don't know," he said. My breath caught in my throat again. I noticed that he had a habit of doing that to me. "Yes, I haven't cu…done anything since, but there's a reason for it, okay? Why do you think I had that blood clot in my lungs?"

"I—I don't know," I said, not wanting to think about anything that hurt Robbie, in the past, present, or future. "I guess it could have—I mean, I read that often those kinds of things are caused from other surgeries and stuff…"

"We aren't positive what caused my lung to collapse, Cat, but I think I know where the embolism came from." I turned away, not sure I wanted to know. He started talking anyway, forcing me to listen. "Another thing that that I'm not sure you know…it can be blockage from anywhere in the body."

"Okay, so…"

"So I think it came from one of…one of these," he said, shoving one of his wrists under my face. Seeing the red skin, I turned away, my heart pumping so fast that I was sure it would burst. "So I guess, in a way, this thing that's happened to me…it's been a good thing."

"Not entirely," I said. He stared at me in confusion. "Sorry," I said quietly.

"Of course it's been a good thing," he said. Now it was my turn to be confused. "I mean, I got to spend a week with the greatest girl I've ever met"—I had butterflies in my stomach—"and we've made a great bond together, and you learned—sort of—a new talent, and I've manipulated you into a Potterhead…"

"Oh, that reminds me!" I said suddenly, changing the subject since it was awkward for me to discuss. "Weren't we going to watch the movie?"

His face lit up and he dug around in his backpack on the floor, then handed me a DVD: _Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban._

"Oh, they aren't little anymore," I said, sounding disappointed.

"Oh, Cat," he said, laughing. "Put that in, will you?"

I hopped across the room, shoved the DVD in, and hopped back. I was gaining mobility—in a roundabout kind of way—in my leg again, but I still didn't trust it and I still had to stay off my feet anyway. _What they don't know won't hurt them,_ I thought as I sat down.

We watched the movie in semi-silence, then Robbie started to stare at my left hand. "Is there a problem?" I asked.

He shook his head, ruffled around in his backpack again, and produced a Sharpie. "Can I draw something for you?"

I smiled, said, "Go ahead," and went back to being engrossed in the movie again. Harry had just been given chocolate by Professor Lupin for the Dementor attack on the train, then started to giggle.

"Stop moving!" Robbie said, laughing too.

"It _tickles!_" I said back, but obliged.

"You're so…" he started, stopped, shook his head, and fought another laugh. Failing, he settled for a smile, and continued to draw. After a while, the gentle strokes of the Sharpie were soothing, and I continued to be engrossed in the film, completely tuning Robbie out. It was approaching midnight; I hadn't realized I had been at the hospital so long, but I guess the old saying was true: _Time flies when you're having fun._

Or, in my case, falling in love.

Robbie cleared his throat; I looked up, feigning anger at him interrupting the show. "What?" I said.

"There's something I want to ask you," he said. I raised my brows.

"What?"

"I, uh…well, uh…I don't know how to say it," he said, flushing red in embarrassment. "I'll write it down for you," he decided, then went back to my arm. I could feel confusion rising up in me.

"What the hell?" I said in the middle of the movie. He looked up in concern.

"What?" he said, fear on his face. "What's wrong?"

"What happened to Dumbledore?"

He laughed. "Well, unfortunately after _Chamber of Secrets _came out, he died, so they had to replace him." He continued to draw on me; I hoped he was reaching the end. His drawing skills were next to none, not that I would mind too much if it came out bad. It would make a funny story to tell at school, in any case.

"But that guy's so…so…_young!_"

"You're terrible." He capped the pen, blew on my hand, and said, "Okay, I'm done."

I looked down. Over a scratch on my arm that I had gotten from sitting on the ground he had drawn a beautiful picture. It was as though his skills had improved since he drew the butterfly he named after me. It was in perfect detail as well… Perhaps he had taken lessons from Allison, who could draw a self portrait and have it look like a mirror? Either way, it was amazing, in my opinion. Underneath was a single word, which I knew was his question.

_Prome?_

* * *

><p><strong>Okay one more chapter (sorry!) and then the epilogue… I AM SO EXCITED OMG. I'm also worn out and I swear, the next update and the epilogue WILL be earlier in the day. I had swimming for the first time today and I was reminded that when it comes to swimming, I am no bueno. :( Depressing, yes I know. But it wasn't like I was ever going to the Olympics. Anyway at practice I saw my little buddy Angelo :'D He's the reason I learned sign language, he's an eleven-year-old buy and he's deaf. He also still doesn't know my name -_- Omg it's six letters what's the big deal bro anyway. It would mean a lot to me if you'd check out the beginnings of my novel (I mentioned it on here in the last chapter, I believe) on FictionPress, my user name there is MadAsAHatterx (because Hatter of Madness was taken…by me. I forgot the email address I used when I signed up xD FAIL) and the story is called Damaged Goods. It's about a girl with Turner syndrome, which is a genetic disease found only in girls. It's a lot better than it sounds, I SWEA-UH (from the hood L0L). Please review, I've done enough ranting and no one cares about my life anyway… This isn't Tumblr. ;)<strong>

**- Hatter of Madness**


	17. I Love You Like A Love Song Robbie

When my mom picked me up, it was already noon and I had just woken up. "Mom, can't I _please_ stay for a little while longer?" I asked. "I wanted to…"

"Cat, you've spent more time in this hospital lately than you have at home," she reminded, standing at the doorway and not looking amused. "Besides, you'll see Robbie again tomorrow, sweetie."

I sighed. "At _home_."

She frowned, clearly not understanding. If I saw Robbie at his home, it'd be a lot more awkward than at the hospital, mainly because at the hospital, there was a kind of privacy that his home didn't absolutely ensure. Sure, there were nurses that would come in every once in a while to make sure that everything was smooth sailing, but even that was more private than being at his home, where who knew what would happen or who would walk in on us. In all honesty, I had grown to enjoy our time together more than anything else in the world.

"Come on, Cat, we don't have all the time in the world." She folded her arms over her chest. "Your brother still needs the car, and…"

"Alright," I huffed, standing up and stabling myself on my crutches. I turned to Robbie. "Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow," I said. A smile lit up my face. "I'm so glad that you're going home." Even if I did enjoy the time together that we had spent, I was so glad that he'd be able to go back to one of his (many) homes, where he belonged.

"Me, too," he said back.

"Mom's or dad's?" I asked.

"Dad's. He still feels guilty for the whole 'neglect' thing."

"Well, then. I will see you and Rex…"

"And Allison."

"And Allison," I agreed, "tomorrow at your dad's." My mom turned to leave, and I quickly sneaked a kiss on Robbie's cheek while she had her back turned, then hurried to catch up with her. We got to the car and I deposited my crutches on the floor and leaned the seat back, a smile on my face. My mom took note of it and she smiled, too. I saw her sneak a glance at my wrist.

"So, looks like you have yourself a tattoo?" she asked, chuckling at the weird things that I did with my friends.

I laughed, biting my lip to try to refrain myself. "Yeah, I guess I do," I told her. "Robbie drew it for me."

"I figured as much. Listen, Kitty Cat. I know that our relationship lately has been less than perfect, and by a long shot, but what do you say you and me finally have that movie night tonight? I know you've been interested in those wizard movies lately…"

I snapped up. "You want to watch Harry Potter with me?"

"Sure, if that's what you want to do."

"Mom, you can't just _watch_ Harry Potter. There are books, too."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, silly me."

"But sure, we'll watch them later tonight." Robbie had given me the first two movies to borrow, which was really saying something, since he had informed me that he didn't trust _anyone _with the series at all. I could understand why; I had gotten obsessive with them, too. I had even gotten my own copies of the books, which did not come cheap; it cost most of the money I had been saving up for a car, but Mom told me that when my brother moved out, I would get his car (which was currently sitting unused in the garage).

There was a long and awkward silence, during which I played with my short hair. I liked the short look on me, but a part of me wished I had never cut it off. I still had all of what I cut off hidden in a plastic bag in the back of my closet. I couldn't bear to part with it, not yet.

"Hey—Mom?"

"Hmmm?" she said, a bit surprised that I had finally broken the silence.

"Can we, uh—can we go shopping later? For, uh—prom dresses?"

She suddenly slammed on the brakes, so it was a good thing that we were at a red traffic light anyway. My eyes went wide at the possibility of a crash; unlike the other cars behind us, who had eased to a stop, my mother had nearly caused a pileup. She whipped towards me in surprise. "I thought your school didn't do prom?" she asked.

"Well, strictly speaking, we don't. But last year, Tori got this idea to do sort of like—an anti prom. She called it Prome. And even though we got the okay to do a real prom this year, we're still calling it Prome since that was what started the whole 'prom' thing. So, can we?"

She laughed, probably at the weird and backwards 'traditions' of Hollywood Arts. "Only a performing arts school…" she said, confirming my suspicions. "Sure, I just need to pick something up for your brother since he has class today."

"On a Saturday?"

"It's an extracurricular thing. Some kind of field trip, or something. But I will definitely take you shopping for, er…_Prome._"

"Thanks, Mom."

I started to settle back into my chair when she asked, "So, you got a hot date for Prome, I'm guessing?"

"Depends on your view of 'hot'," I said, feeling the ever so familiar butterflies going wild in my stomach again. I placed a hand over my stomach nonchalantly to stop it, hoping beyond hope that I wasn't blushing, like I usually did whenever my mother and I discussed matters like this. And in my opinion, Robbie wasn't necessarily 'hot', but he _was _attractive, maybe in an awkward teenage years kind of way. "But yeah, I have a date."

"Who're you going with?" she asked in singsong.

I started to giggle as a response, covering my mouth with the hand that had the butterfly drawing on it. She seemed to take note of which hand I had used and clued in to what I was trying to say.

"Nuh _uh,_" she said. Sometimes, I swear, my mom is like a teenager in her own right. "Robbie asked you to pro…er, prome?"

I giggled again. "Yep," I said back. "And being the generous person I am, I said yes."

"Oh, shut up," my mom said, joining in with my laughter. "You're not _that _much of a prize." I started to laugh again. It reminded me of when I was young, when my mother and I were like best friends. In fact, until I started school at Hollywood Arts, she _was _my best friend, along with my older brother. And the three of us acted like best friends do, even going as far as to insult each other in a playful manner. But once I started at Hollywood Arts, I actually _did _make friends.

I was looking around for my locker. The school principal told me it was mandatory to decorate it, but since I had just started there, I had time to think about it. I went to the locker and was confused as to opening it. At my middle school, there weren't lockers. Instead, we just had a set of books to keep at home and then all of our teachers had another set that stayed in their classrooms. As I stared at my schedule, I heard a voice behind me.

"Aw, the wannabe ginger can't open a locker."

I was deeply offended until I turned around and saw a boy with glasses, holding a puppet…which was being scolded.

My mom brought me out of my thoughts as she turned into the parking lot of the post office. She got out of the car, was gone for about three minutes, then came back, started the car again, and said, "I will never understand your brother. Never in a million years. You ready to go?"

I smiled as she started in the direction of the mall.

* * *

><p>The next morning I showered, attempted to do my hair, and changed into some comfortable clothes, then made my way downstairs again haphazardly. When I got there, my brother was practically asleep at the table, but shot up once I started into the room.<p>

"Hey, I heard that somebody's got a boyfriend," he said. My mother whacked him on the head.

"Be nice," she said. "Morning, Kitty Cat. You fell asleep in my bed last night."

"Sorry," I said, flushing red. We had gone through with our movie plans and had gotten through the first and part of the second Harry Potter movies before I fell asleep.

"No worries," she said. "Just teasing. I'll take you to Robbie's in about an hour, okay?"

"Okay, sounds good," I said, diving into breakfast.

My brother watched me as though I was a circus performer. "So, you've decided to eat again, have you?"

I kicked him under the table in shock. "What was that?" my mother said.

"Nothing," I said quickly before he had a chance to. I shot him a blazing look and he smiled back at me innocently, twiddling his thumbs. I mouthed the words 'you're dead to me' to him and he mouthed back 'you're welcome'. I rolled my eyes.

An hour later on the dot, I was in the car again and going to Robbie's dad's house, a place my mother had never been to. I had to give her directions the whole way. When we finally stopped, she squealed—which is not an exaggeration at all. I stared at her with a puzzled look. "Oh, I'm just imagining you in your pro—excuse me—prome dress. You're going to look so beautiful!"

I couldn't hide the flush of color in my cheeks that time. I got out of the car and said, "Bye Mom, see you later."

"I'll be here around one," she said.

I went up to the doorway, fixed my skirt, and rang the doorbell. Allison answered it almost right away; her face lit up when she saw me. "Cat!"

"Hi, Allison!" I said cheerfully. It was such a nice feeling to see her again, and in her home. She suddenly engulfed me in a tight hug, which was easier said than done since I still relied heavily on my crutches. I giggled.

"Is Robbie h—"

"Allison," a voice called, which I immediately recognized as Robbie's father. He was in the room seconds later. "What did I say about answering the door?"

"Cat's not a stranger, Daddy," she said sweetly.

"Hello, Catherine," he said in a very emotionless voice. "Robbie's down the hall in the guest bedroom."

I frowned. "Why isn't he in his room?"

"His room's upstairs," Allison answered sweetly. "I suggested the guest room because of his lungs."

"Oh, that's sweet," I said, coming all the way into the house. "Well, thanks."

"What's that on your wrist?" he asked. I held up my hand for him to see. He wrinkled his brow, reminding me a lot of Robbie. "Does Robbie not know how to spell 'prom' or does your school have dances in Italy?"

"It's a long story," I said. "Well, I guess I'm gonna go now…"

"Keep the door open," his dad said, deeply offending me. I hid this, though, by not letting my voice falter.

"Kay, kay."

I opened the door, shutting it halfway. "Hey, Robbie," I greeted cheerfully.

He sat up upon seeing me, sticking a bookmark into the book he was reading—_Having a Dummy for Dummies. _"Hey, Cat," he said. Rex was sitting, neglected, in a small, toy bed on the bedside table. I will never understand where he gets all of his stuff for Rex, just like my mother will never understand my brother.

We listened to music for a really long time since there wasn't much to talk about. Finally, Robbie got the nerve to ask, "So, what does your dress for prome look like?"

"Why, do you want to match?" I teased.

"Actually, yes, I would," he said. "I mean, traditionally at proms and stuff, the guy usually wears at least…"

"I don't need a complete rundown," I said, giggling. "But it's a really pretty blue, not really dark but at the same time not really light, and it goes to my knees. There's a black sash like thing at my waist that ties in a bow on my left side. Then there's this black flimsy material on top with a flower pattern. I can send you a picture later if you want to see it."

"No, I'd rather be surprised." We fell back to listening to music, going completely silent when 'our' song came on.

"What, Cat got your tongue?" Rex asked, breaking the silence.

I smiled as Robbie's face started to get red. Shocking the both of us, I said, "Now she does," then leaned forward and kissed him on the lips for the third time in forty-eight hours. In the most amazing piece of ventriloquism that I have ever seen, Rex said, during our kiss, "I did _not _see that coming."

When I pulled away, Robbie stared at me for a really long time and said, "So does this mean that we…"

Knowing exactly what he was saying, I said, "If you want to be, I mean if not it's totally cool…"

My phone started to vibrate. I pulled it out: A message from my brother. '_Mom knows ur secret. Sorry :( ily?'_

I let out a strangled scream; Robbie looked at me in concern. "What?"

"My brother told my mom about my little…problem," I said bitterly.

"Don't be upset?"

"Why?"

He took my hand in his, then said, "I don't want to see you upset."

"Aw, just kiss the girl already," Rex snapped.

"Yeah, just kiss the girl already," I said, doing my best imitation of Rex—and failing. Robbie gave me a look and I fell silent. Finally, I allowed myself to say in my normal voice, "Did it hurt?"

"Did what hurt?"

"Those," I said, pointing at his wrists. He looked down at them in embarrassment.

"There are more," he said.

I grimaced. "Just answer my question."

"Not as much as seeing you upset."

"God damn, with that comment, _I'm_ falling in love with him," Rex said.

I laughed, saying, "Your friend's so inappropriate."

"I wish _you'd_ do something inappropriate," Rex said.

Robbie kissed me again as I was in the middle of saying something. It was very long and very passionate—probably around ten seconds. We drew away from each other, staring at one another in the eyes. Looking at him, I saw everything that was good and pure in the world. I saw my future.

Suddenly, the silence was broken by a voice from the hallway:

"I don't hear talking."

"We don't need to talk," Robbie said quietly, running his fingers through my hair. I practically melted in his arms. "The silences aren't awkward anymore."

* * *

><p><strong>I am so ready for the epilogue of this story… It's been a fun ride with you guys and I want to thank EVERYONE, especially <strong>**RaptorIV ****and ****Moxxy as they've reviewed the most. I promise that the epilogue is going to be the longest chapter out of the entire story, just because I want you to be satisfied with the ending (and with this chapter, that's gonna be a _long _ending). I have a surprise that I've told Raptor and Moxxy about, but the rest of you are going to be in the dark until Saturday when I update this…_for the last time._ I almost cried while writing this, bwahaha. I have a doctor's appointment today, so she's going to tell me what I'm doing wrong with my life :'D Well specifically, my diabetes. I have a link (nonclickable) on my profile to Cat's dress if you want to see it (yes I actually did find a dress just so I could describe it don't judge it helps me write). Please review, and have a great day!**

**- Hatter of Madness**


	18. Epilogue: You're Always a Day Away

Backstage one of Sikowitz's plays was always hectic, and I'm sure it probably is for any play, no matter the director, audience, show, what have you. That was definitely the case opening night of _Annie_. I was backstage getting my hair curled by our hair and makeup person, Trina was begging Sikowitz to give her character a solo ("I can't change the script, Trina!"), Tori was going through scales to make sure her voice sounded clear and that she was well enough to sing.

"You're done," the makeup person said, tapping me on the shoulder. I practically jumped out of the chair and went to the girl's changing room, which was overcrowded. People gave me warm smiles as I came in, which I gave a halfhearted attempt to reciprocate. I found my dress, boots, and apron hanging on the clothing rack, throwing them on and making sure I didn't smudge my stage makeup. Jade came over to help me with my mic.

"You nervous?" she asked, clipping the mic to my clothes as I set the piece behind my ear.

"A little," I said. _That _was a lie; my heart was beating a thousand miles a minute and I was sure that if I stepped on stage, I would faint.

"Just think about it," Jade said, zipping my dress back up and spinning me around. "You get out there, and there are two hundred people, just _staring _at you, and then you forget a line, and then you make a really weird squeaking sound, and all you can do is just stare out at the audience…then Sikowitz closes the curtains and cancels the play, and…"

"Jade!" Tori said, coming over with Trina, who had apparently given up on her attempts to make the character Lily St. Regis a bigger part. To be honest, I thought that that was the perfect role for her, given her vocal talents (for want of a better word). "Knock it off. You may be Miss Hannigan but Cat's our friend, 'kay?"

Jade gave her a blazing look. Her skimpy dress and facial expressions really did remind me of Miss Hannigan, too. I bit my lip, nervously. She had stuck the idea in my head that I was going to mess up, and the play would be a disaster. I was already nervous enough before she had said anything; now, I was terrified. Finally, knowing that Tori meant business, she said, "Where's my bottle?"

Tori and Trina tried to reassure me that I was going to do great, and that Sikowitz wouldn't have casted the play the way he did if he didn't think I had the ability to do the part. "But if it makes you feel any better," Trina said, rummaging through her bag, "would you like a Chinese herb gargle? It makes you sing better…"

"Say no," Tori said quickly.

"Wasn't planning on accepting anyway," I said, realizing I had left my phone back in the hair and makeup room. "Shoot," I mumbled to myself. "I'll be right back!"

It didn't surprise me that I had left my phone there; my mind was in such a blur that I couldn't concentrate on anything. I tried going through my lines to myself, but that just made me even more nervous. I was like a train wreck: My mom and brother were going to be there, it was a sold out show, and Sikowitz had dropped hints that talent scouts might show up to one of the performances, too.

As I walked into the hair and makeup room, I immediately spotted my phone on the desk next to where Robbie was getting his makeup done. I reached around him and grabbed it and he waved at me in the mirror. I attempted a smile back. I started to leave the room but my phone buzzed in my hand. Looking down, I read the text message: '_Wait._' I obliged, watching the makeup artist finish. He stood up, looked in the mirror to make sure it was all even, and walked towards me. "Well," he said. He was wearing a tuxedo with his hair slicked back. He looked like a million bucks, which was convenient since he was playing Daddy Warbucks. "How do I look?"

"Great," I said back. I, on the other hand, was dressed in rags with even a sprinkling of dust on my face. The makeup artist told me that it was a special kind of makeup that I could blend into my face when the play progressed. My heart was pounding in my chest, which reminded me of something I had been meaning to ask. "But the better question is, how do you _feel?_"

"Fine," he said.

"How's your chest? Your lungs?"

"Fine and fine."

"Do you need any pain relievers? I have some in my…"

"Cat!" I stopped talking immediately. "Look, my surgery was already two months ago, and I feel fine. Honestly. You've seen me at rehearsal. If I can sing and dance at the same time, just talking won't be a problem, okay?"

"Well…" I was still not convinced, and he knew.

"Remember Prome? I felt fine then."

Color rose up in my cheeks, which I tried to hide, but to no avail. I did remember that night, and very clearly. It was the night that we officially became 'a couple'.

"Well, you look just fine," I said, changing the subject to try and hide my blush. "I still think Daddy Warbucks could use some facial hair…" I teased, picking up a stipple sponge and some black makeup.

He laughed. "Better put that back before you're caught," he warned. I obliged, setting both back on the table. "Besides, I think that our lead actress should have it instead."

"I'm supposed to be an eleven-year-old girl!" I said in surprise. Just like what Robbie thought, Sikowitz had cast me as Annie and my opinion that Robbie should have been Daddy Warbucks was realized, too. The entire cast couldn't have been more perfect, in my opinion: Tori was Grace Farrell, the assistant to Mr. Warbucks; Andre was in a duel role of Bundles, the laundryman, and Drake, his butler; Jade was Miss Hannigan; Trina was Lily St. Regis; and Beck was Rooster Hannigan. Even Sinjin surprised us all by proving that he could act and was cast as President Roosevelt. He hadn't gotten out of a wheelchair in anticipation of it.

"Point?" Robbie asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Are you _sure _you feel alright?"

He sighed. "Yes, Cat, I'm picture perfect." It was alarming how calm he was. "Inside and out. Now, how's your ankle?"

I had only just been allowed off of my crutches, which really messed up our rehearsals since I couldn't walk and dance with everyone else. I felt so much better now that I was healed: No longer did I have to go down the stairs sideways or have people help me with even the simplest of tasks. The only downside was that I was a bit behind everyone else when it came to choreography and blocking.

"Fine," I said. We sounded like a broken record, the two of us.

"Oh, you two make me sick." I hadn't realized that Jade was in the room. I turned and made eye contact with her, blushing profoundly. "Besides, you're playing father and daughter, technically, and all I can see is the two of you getting ready to…"

"_Jade!_" Tori said again, coming into the room as well to finish her hair. She then turned to Robbie and I, pointing in the direction of the makeup chair. "Do you know when she'll be back? I really need to finish doing my hair and I don't know how she wanted it."

"She went to get a bottle of water," Robbie said. "She'll be back in a few."

Jade rolled her eyes, feeling neglected, and left the room again. If she had come in for anything, she suddenly had forgotten about it.

"Don't mind her," Tori hissed, since the door was still open. "I'm so happy for the two of you." She smiled at us. "We've been waiting for you two to get together for the _longest_ time. Andre and I were taking bets to see how long it'd be before you realized how perfect you are."

I blushed in embarrassment and Robbie slipped an arm around my shoulder. "I've known for a while," he said. "I just haven't been the brightest bulb in the bunch when it comes to our relationship, if you know what I'm saying."

Tori laughed, then said, "Sorry about getting you worked up when he was admitted, Cat. It's just that, you know…with his little _problem_…I'll stop talking now." Robbie had given her a blazing look, which made even me feel uncomfortable. "I'm just gonna leave you two alone now. Oh—and Cat?" I raised my eyebrows as a signal for her to continue. "You're going to do a great job tonight. I have total faith in you."

I forced a smile. "Thanks, Tori." It seemed like the more people reassured me, the less confident I felt. I was starting to feel queasy. This was a feeling I had never felt before in my entire life. It was complete and absolute stage fright.

"Cat, you feeling okay?" Robbie asked, taking his arm off my shoulder to get a better look at me. Trying to shoot him a real smile, I ended up grimacing. "That good, huh?" That got a genuine response out of me: It was difficult not to laugh. "Look, what have I been saying from the beginning? You're going to be a great Annie, and you're a great actress and singer. I have complete and utter faith in you."

"Tori should have been Annie," was all I could say.

"Are you kidding? Did you see the way that she seems so—so—so _proud _of you?" 'Proud' was definitely not the word I was searching for, but I didn't tell Robbie that. "Everyone's proud of what you've accomplished in this play: Sikowitz, Beck, Andre…_I'm_ proud of you." His voice dropped down close to a whisper and I wanted nothing more but to share the rest of that night with him, just the two of us. Instead, I let something out of my mouth that I'll never forget:

"I don't understand why." Robbie grasped both of my shoulders in his hands, looking down at me with a concerned look in his eyes.

"Cat. You started this play with a bum leg, and we knew from the beginning that the time that you healed and the day that the show opened would be close. But you never gave up. You've gone from a background character to the lead, and you've proved your worth to all of us. And I know you know how much you've changed these past few months. Remember that time you were upset at rehearsal because of your 'problem', and then you overcame it?" That I did remember. I supposed that _was _something to be proud of; I had fought off one of my inner demons. "You've been an amazing, strong person these past few months. That's why we're all so proud."

Tears sprang up in my eyes, which I didn't have time to bat away before he placed a hand on my cheek and used his thumb to wipe my tears away. "Now, cheer up. You're an emotional wreck."

I was on the verge of laughing or coming up with some witty comeback when Sikowitz came in the room and announced, "House is dead. Robbie, get your hands off of Cat. She is now an orphan."

Robbie rolled his eyes. We all knew what 'house is dead' meant. The audience was now filing into the theater and getting seats, and the curtains would be opening soon. We were not allowed on stage where the audience would see us until the play opened. We also had to lower our voices and once Sikowitz announced 'places', we couldn't talk at all.

My heart started to pound in the region of my throat. If the house was dead, that meant I had less than half an hour before I had to be onstage. Trying to busy myself with non-performance related problems, I said, "So you're _positive _that you don't need anything?"

"I'm super positive, Cat."

"Ooh, super, being fancy now, are we?"

He rolled his eyes. "I'm positive."

"You don't have any chest pains of any kind?"

"Cat, please. Do you see me on the ground, clutching my chest, wincing, or a combination of the three? No. I'm fine, and you will be too, okay? Just calm down a bit. You're getting yourself stressed out."

I stared at him. "'Getting'?"

He sighed, leaning down to kiss my forehead. "Just don't do it anymore. You're gonna be great, I guarantee it."

"But what if…"

"If _Sinjin _can do this, you can, too."

It wasn't very reassuring, but it got me thinking, anyway. Sinjin, since he was in a wheelchair the entire play, didn't have to worry about remembering dance moves and praying that his leg was strong enough to support him. I said nothing, however. The thing that made me nervous was…

"Talent scouts!" Trina shrieked, coming into the hair and makeup room. Almost immediately, most of the people in the room gave her a sharp '_ssh_' in reply. "Sorry," she snapped. "I was just talking to Sikowitz and he _still _won't consider giving Lily St. Regis a solo, but he said that he thinks there are talent scouts in the front row."

I let out a strangled cry, feeling like I was going to hyperventilate. Trina looked up at me.

"Oh, and congrats, by the way, Cat," she said. I had the funny suspicion that she was congratulating me for dating Robbie.

He grabbed hold of my hand, whispering into my ear, "Come talk with me," and leading me out of the room. I had no choice but to follow. We ended up in a closet in between the boys' and girls' dressing rooms. We stepped inside and I was not at all surprised to see that everyone had dumped their stuff in the small room. The thing that surprised me was when my eyes flicked over to Robbie's backpack and saw…

"You didn't bring Rex?" I said.

"I wanted it to just be me and you," he said back. "I don't understand why you're nervous."

"I've just been jumpy ever since what happened to you," I admitted.

"Oh, Cat…"

"Well, I have been," I said. "My life has been spiraling out of control ever since then. I mean, this play and our relationship…they've been the two best things that have happened to me in the last few months. I just have been really…well…"

He sighed. "Don't worry about me. I'm all patched up now, and I haven't felt this great in a really long time. Mentally _and _physically." There was a pause. Then, finally, Robbie broke the silence and said four words that he had never said to me before: "I love you, Cat."

Don't ask why, but I burst into tears. He couldn't help but laugh. "Calm down, will you? It's not a big deal," he soothed, hugging me close to him. We stayed like that right up until Sikowitz came around and announced, "Places! Places, everyone—Robbie, why are you in a closet with Cat? This isn't seven minutes in Heaven. Places!"

I whimpered, fear rising up in me again. _I can do this,_ I thought to myself. _I am confident and I can do this._ Yet I was still so afraid.

"Cat, here," Robbie said, sitting me down in a chair in the room. It was the only piece of furniture in the shoe box sized closet. As I settled myself, he got down on one knee. For half a second, I thought he was proposing, until he said, "If you get nervous at all, just think about me, okay? I'm your biggest fan." When I smiled, he did it back. "That's my girl," he whispered. "Now, you heard the man. Places!"

I scurried off to go to my spot just offstage. The lights dimmed and the orphans ran out. I was thinking about what Robbie said—or, to be more specific, I was thinking about Robbie, and how happy I had been in the last two months.

Things hadn't been perfect, but we made them work. I had noticed that he had a lesser dependence on Rex ever since we started spending more time with each other, which I wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing. But I had never seen him so happy before in my life—hell, _I _hadn't been so happy, either. The moment when Robbie asked if we could finally just be boyfriend and girlfriend was following a slow dance at Prome to _She's Got You High _by Mumm-ra. At the end of that, he had taken me aside and asked me. Little did we know that we were being watched, and generated quite a reaction out of our friends. It was easily the best night of my life.

The curtains went up, and I suddenly had sharp hearing, waiting for my cue.

"You think you're Jack Dempsey, do ya?"

"And you're looking for a knuckle sandwich!"

_It's now or never._

As the two orphans continued their spat, I took a deep breath and walked out, saying, "Pipe down, all of ya!"

The rest of the play was like an adrenaline rush. At intermission, I ran offstage to see Robbie standing in the sidelines, as he wasn't in the last scene. He had been observing the entire thing; he was like my moral support. As I ran to him, he held his arms out and engulfed me, then shocked everyone around us and lifted me off the ground. I gave a lighthearted shriek. "You're doing so great," he assured me.

"You too!" I said, giggling, as he put me back on the ground.

Sikowitz made an appearance. "They love it," he told us. "Just make sure that continues with act two."

I was certain that it would continue. Personally, I was looking forward to the duet between Robbie and myself—_I Don't Need Anything But You_, which was personal to me, as it also described, in a sense, _our _relationship. It was going to be a lot easier to get through my scenes, in any case.

The rest of the play seemed to blow by in a blur. Finally, it was curtain call and we went to take our positions to bow. Robbie held my hand, as we would be bowing together, then he looked at me and said, "Cat Valentine, is that a _smile _on your face?"

I giggled. "I guess I got over my stage fright," I said guiltily as the lights came up. We took our bows then went off stage to interact with the audience, something we always did at the end of plays. I had just stepped into the room when I felt small arms flinging themselves around me. I hugged the little girl back, saying, "Hi, Ally!"

"Cat!" Allison said back. "You did such a great job! You're a wonderful actress."

I blushed. "Thanks so much!" I told her. Immediately a hand tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around to see my brother, Charlie. He was holding a bouquet of roses in his arms, which I knew was for me even if he didn't say anything. "Hey, sis," he greeted. I wrapped him up in my arms—easier said than done, since he towered above me and was rather muscular, since he was at least six foot and twenty-one years old.

"Thanks for coming!" I said.

"And miss my baby sister's big debut? Not a chance."

As we broke apart, the flowers got passed from him to me. I looked around at the room. Trina was busy yakking it up with three people who had to be the talent scouts. I fought the temptation to roll my eyes. Tori was taking a picture in the corner with Andre. Jade and Beck were…well, let's just say that I felt that they deserved a warning from Sikowitz from their behavior; Robbie and I looked practically harmless next to them.

At that moment, Robbie came up to me with Sylvia and her husband, Maury; his father; and his mother. Sylvia smiled at me, which seemed a little odd to me. "There's a plus side to having your hair that color, I suppose," she teased.

I smiled back at her. "Thanks for coming," I said.

"Not a problem, sweetheart!"

Aaron came forward next. "Cat," he greeted. It shocked me that for once, he was using my full name and not Catherine. My mother and Siobhan had busied themselves and were deep in conversation, talking about Robbie and I, no doubt. "Wonderful performance."

"Thank you, Mr. Shapiro," I said.

"Oh, please," he said offhandedly. "Call me Aaron."

I sneaked a glance at Robbie, who was grinning sheepishly, then I turned my focus back to his dad and nodded. "Aaron it is, then."

"Well, you're practically family now, aren't you?"

Robbie came up and put his arm around my shoulder again, and said, "Practically?" There was a hint of something in his voice that I had never heard from him before—it almost sounded like longing.

Charlie came over then, snapping, "You better treat my sister right or I swear I'll…"

Letting go of me, Robbie threw his hands up in the air as though my brother were a cop. I giggled. "You did a good job, sis," he reassured me seconds later. "You had _me_ wanting to adopt you."

"Too late," Robbie said. "She belongs to Oliver Warbucks." I knew there was a double meaning to the 'belong' statement.

"Good job, baby," my mom agreed, breaking away from Siobhan. I had to admit, I would accept 'baby' over 'Kitty Cat' any day. My mother dug her cell phone out of her purse and said, "I demand a picture of Daddy Warbucks and Annie."

I rolled my eyes, feeling color rise up in my cheeks again. Sinjin was having a race around the room in his wheelchair against Beck, who was only allowed to hop, and giggled. The night couldn't have ended better.

We stood together and Robbie put an arm around my shoulder again. "Oh, that's precious!" my mom said.

"Mom…" I complained in a whiny voice, but she knew I was kidding. She almost literally brushed off the comment as the flash went off.

"You've got to send me a copy of that," Siobhan said.

I held my bouquet with one hand, grasping Robbie's hand with the other. It was hard to believe all that had happened to us in the past few months. Robbie had gone through an extensive hospital stay…I had had a sort of 'bad girl' phase for a while (or the better term would be a 'monster')…our friendship had been strained for a little while…but if anything, our family ties grew stronger.

It was odd, but if Robbie had never had any medical problems, I probably wouldn't have fallen so in love with the greatest person on Earth. Our families wouldn't have become such a force as they were at that moment. We'd probably still be stuck in the 'friend zone', and would stay there for a while.

It wasn't going to be easy. We'd have to work at making _us _work everyday, but it was a struggle we wanted to go through, because we wanted to be with the other. I wanted to protect Robbie the same he wanted to protect me. He wanted my happiness the same way that I wanted his. It was funny how something as depressing as a trip to the hospital could cause something as amazing as young love.

I looked up at him, feeling the pride he had expressed for me earlier. He was my everything, but most importantly, he was my best friend. I whispered to him the same words he had said to me as he squeezed my hand gently:

"I love you, Robbie."

* * *

><p><strong>THE END. OSFJSDLF my creyz. Okay, that was okay, right? This chapter was so long and I wrote most of it at two A.M. xD I just had a sudden surge of ideas and I was like MUST. WRITE. NAU. But now it's <em>finished<em>. Oh my gosh, that feels so weird to say. I've finished a fic, I deserve a prize ;p I didn't even know how successful this fic would be when I first got the idea, but look at it now. This is my final update and I'm up to 4106 hits, 48 reviews, 44214 words (and when I add this, it'll be 48806), 12 faves, and 18 alerts (which is, ironically, the same amount of chapters). Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU. Now, to make my announcement that I have only told Moxxy and Raptor about: I can't promise a sequel to this since I think it wrapped up nicely, but am in the process of writing another _Victorious _fic of Robbie/Cat. I want to focus on my schoolwork for the time being because I have the CSTs and AP test (European history) coming up, so it'll probably be late May/early June before I post it, but I'm in love with the idea. Maybe if an idea hits, I can write a sequel to this, or maybe that fic can be the unofficial sequel. Either way, I'm not done writing, and I just can't give up this pairing. Thank you all for EVERYTHING. Signing off on this for the last time…**

**- Hatter of Madness**


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